A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been goin out with ma girl now for 10 months n i love her loads. she's ace..shes not like any other girl...shes the real thing u know. She has made me orgasm bout 3 times now as we have been experimenting a bit. She has had it rough in the past and doesnt want to loose her verginty just yet. we have talked and i told her i wanted to repay her..make her feel as good as i felt and give her an orgasm...i asked her if she had ever come close and she said that she wasnt sure which is probably a no. i mean you'd know right? i dnt want to pressure her into sex but how do i make her orgasm? she seems up for it and i have tried both with fingers and orally but it hasnt worked. any tips?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): She feels safe being in control. That you are aware she has had a rough childhood...this only will make her even want to be in control more and deny herself joy and pleasure and love and with love, real intamacy and a connection as to her...this type of relationship is so alien it scares the hell out of her.
If you want to do this GF a favour or if you care so much about her, get her to see a counsellor and tell her she doesn't have to give you any sexual favours to earn your love and approval.
She needs someone to trust in more than anything.
Stop using her and stop trying to force something onto her.
See this for what it is.
She needs to address her sexual abuse as well as her abandonment issues from childhood.
Be a Man in the true sense of the word, be honest and be a friend-get her help.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 March 2007):
 Telling her you want to repay her by giving her an orgasm IS putting pressure on her! She isn't ready to have sex yet so I would leave well alone. If she wants to pleasure you then fine, but leave it at that. When she wants you to go further then she'll soon let you know. If you want to repay her then buy her a beautiful bouquet of flowers and have them sent to her home or bring her a gift, that would let her see you appreciate everything she does for you!
Eve
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