A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to pursue a relationship with my best friend. The problem is that we know virtually everything about each other (including number of sex partners, abortions she had, former relationships, and personal hangups....Not to mention she used to date my other best friend!) We both talk about what the other wants in a relationship and we describe each other. I just don't know if I should go for it. If so, how? What happens if it doesn't work? Would I lose her altogether?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): Would you lose her altogether if you break up?? That can't be answered. If you do end up NOT working there's a real good chance that you can NEVER go back to how you are now. So that's something you have to weigh up now. Is it worth risking your friendship that you share. I think you already have some hangups about HER, by what you say. I think she has laid her trust in you with obvious concerns where she has needed a strong friend to lean on. You were ok dealing with these things as a friend but now looking at them from a point of view as her partner, you're more judgemental. They are obviously bother you or you wouldn't have mentioned them. If you began a 'relationship' with her, these issues are NOT going to go away. If you have a problem with them now, they will only tend to become more of an issue. Just because you describe qualities that you like in a partner that each of you possess, doesn't necessarily mean you are 'right' for each other. If I were you, I would start focusing your attention towards something else for awhile. Start going out to social events with some of your male friends and see how your feelings are after a few months. If you are still feeling the same and you feel like you can't resist, you are going to have to deal with 'your' concerns. The issues about her that concern you are NOT her problem. They are yours. She confided in you with honesty and if you want to pursue a relationship with her, you can't know ever hold that against her and be judgmental or the relationship with her will never last. Good luck in whatever you choose.
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