A
male
age
30-35,
*inetiesKid
writes:Helloo, wondered if I could get some tips on something: i'm going to finger my girlfriend next time she comes round mine (if she's comfortable with it of course) but i've never fingered someone before, so i'm slightly nervous.. She is a virgin (as am I) so i'm not just going shove my fingers in her just yet.How should I finger her without putting my fingers in? I know where everything is so i'm ok in that respect. Also, I want to make it pleasurable for her rather then just getting touchy feely.Cheers. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Well, if you're not going to insert, then you're not really "fingering her," and that's okay. Think of it more as fondling or sexual massage. We in America used to call it petting. It certainly raises sexual tension for both of you, and can possibly even result in orgasm for her, but maybe not.
Anyway, if she consents, then begin with all customary kissing, necking and touchy-feely stuff, and follow with moving your hand to direct contact either under her clothing or nude. Again, if she allows, then moisten your fingertips with your saliva, and begin slowly and gently rubbing (first more like a tickle) up and down her labia for awhile. Avoid her clitoris meanwhile.
Moisten fingers again, then gradually, if she responds favorably, begin moving your fingertips a bit more probingly. In other words, use your fingers to part her vulva more and gently massage up and down her labia lips. Use a variety of motions, including circular, back-and-forth and increasingly at varying speeds. Keep maintaining a good level of moisture if the area seems to go dry at times.
If she continues to express comfort with this activity, you may also part her labia lips more and massage her vaginal opening, using circular motions. Alternate the latter with the labia massage awhile. Eventually, and with heavily moistened fingertips, you may gently redirect to her clitoral area with primarily circular motions. Her clitoris can be highly sensitive and she will likely wish to guide your actions, which you must heed. She may respond well to a variety of massaging motions -circular, side-to-side, up-and-down, and at varying speeds. Allow her to direct you. Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, smart25 +, writes (2 December 2009):
 firstly be gentle, if your going to finger her for the first time use lubrication on your fingers so it won't hurt her. if ya wanna pleasure her try rubbing the clitorus (bad Spelling!) or stimulate her g-spot when she becomes more aroused, but be gentle she will appreciate it more :-)
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A
female
reader, KANDIWRPR +, writes (2 December 2009):
 ok..
i think that if you dont want to just put it in there
you can try to play with her clit
thats the part that gives pleasure
also dont say shove that sounds like
you are trying to do damage to her haha
first go slowly with you hand touching
see if she stops you if she doesnt try the clit thing
or oral to the clit
by safe!!wash hands before anything
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