A
male
age
30-35,
*ountryboy
writes:Me and my gf have been dating over a year she is great until it comes time for me to hang out with my friends. she doesnt get along at all with my best friend and after many failed attempts its just not working. i know if it comes down to me choosing between the two i am going to choose my friend and she knows that. im at the point now where if i go out with my friends one more time and she gets mad im gunna lose it. i dont want things to end like this. something is going to happen soon tho because we havent spoke hardly at all today and im going out with my friend tonite. its really hard to condense everything into a short story for everyone to read and i want to cover both sides the story and not just my own. her side is she doesnt care that i go out but she doesnt wanna be talked about while she isnt there. and i completely understand. so i assure her it wont happen. she also wants me to be at home by 10 every nite so i can call and talk to her before she goes to bed. i am 20 years old and she is 18 a senior in highschool. i hung out with her for 4 solid days never leaving her for a minute spending the nite at each others house and everything. i think i am entitled at least one day a week where i can stay out as long as i feel like. "oh ya and i am completely faithful to her andshe knows that" so there shouldnt be a problem in my mind. come on girls am i asking too much here? what is the problem? i need advise..... please
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 December 2009):
 You ever heard the expression:
Bro's before Ho's?
I think she is being unreasonable and insecure. For her to give you a curfew is just really mind boggling. Does she not have any friends?
I don't think you are being unreasonable.
A
female
reader, KANDIWRPR +, writes (2 December 2009):
 i was like her like a year ago
i wouldnt let my bf go out because he does really bad things
but i think that maybe
you and her should have a serious talk
about why she really doesnt like your friends
and why would she say that u guys talk about her
have you guys done it.like talk about her?
anyways if you are spending time with her
like you say you are she
should let you go out until later
she shouldnt be too controlling
thats really going to make her man leave her
trust me..it almost happened to me
tell her if she is going to keep being so controlling
you dont know if you can take more of it
and that she can just cool it down a bit
like let you out past ten on the weekends
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Although I'm only getting your side of the story, she sounds very controlling. You're only 20 and she wants you home by 10 so that you can talk to her? I think she's too needy, and perhaps also insecure. She doesn't want you to talk about her when she's not there? WTF? You have every right to talk about what you want with your friends, and as long as you're not disrespecting her or putting her down, you can say what you want.
I can also see that your relationship is strained. She doesn't like your friends, has she made an effort to get along with them? She should make an effort to be polite to them because they're your friends. What have they done to make things better? Have they made her feel welcome?
I think she's too controlling for you and although the way she is might suit someone else, you sound like you need more freedom.
If I was you I would talk to her like an adult, tell her that a relationship should not be about one person controlling the other. You should be together because you enjoy each other's company. Tell her that you care about her but that you feel like she is controlling you. If she can't trust you while you're out then that's her problem. If she keeps going the way she is I can tell that you're going to start pulling away from her and resent her. Tell her that you don't want it to get to that stage. If she can't be happy with you, and accept your friends, perhaps she'd be better without you.
Take it this way...in the long run, you deserve to be with a girl who makes your life better and enriches it, not one who brings in drama and creates problems for you.
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