A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi guys, its not so much advice i want, more other peoples opinion.so here is my situation, im 21, and have been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years, and she is 20.i started university in september and me and one of my flatmates developed a mutual liking for one another, she left for another university after the first six weeks, but we have kept in contact. she is 18, but i dont really see the age difference as an issue because its so small and were both over 18.anyway, this is the problem, i know i love my girlfriend, but im in a change of scenery and im feeling like i should be playing the field again etc. after all, it is a big part of university and it is wat i used to do before i got in a serious relationship. in an ideal world i would like to pause things with my girlfriend and come back to this moment in 2 years time to get this out of my system, because i know i want to be with my girlfriend for along time and i dont want to hurt her. but i know that cant happen.i have cheated before(on exes), but dont want to do that to my current girlfriend because once i have, itll be easier to do it more. i know what im like.we're not missing anything in our relationship either, sexually or otherwise, its literally just that i am getting 'twitchy'.and then theres this other girl to think about, we both like each other and talk all the time(about our situation and other things). she knows i have a girlfriend and feels guilty of even liking me. but neither of us can help it. is it worth going down that road?both girls are extremely attractive, i do have a habit of getting stunning girls. dont ask me how.so what do u guys think i should do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to dragonette for ur help. i have a feeling she wont want to play the field though. but i will explain to her whats going on, maybe thatll be enough to get it out of my system.dr pete, do you know what 'in an ideal world' means? its not something i think will happen. i know i need to choose and i know i will chose her, but i dont want it to damage our relatipnship down the line.if i wanted to cheat/sleep around, surely i would have done by now?and i know they dont go together ut it can be done, its just hard mixing only and new lives. thanks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): You really want your cake and to eat it, don't you? :)
Relationships don't work in the way you want yours to work out. No one with any self-respect will allow their partner to go and sleep around, or play the field and wait for them to get it out of the system so the relationship can resume back to normal.
You need to face facts: Choose one or the other. Have you told your girlfriend that you want to "pause" your relationship? Probably not. How would you react if your partner told you this? I'd feel used and insulted. Your girlfriend deserves to find someone who is dedicated and who wants to be with her and only her.
Serious relationships and a university life do not go well together. Perhaps you should face facts and see that you are more a single student enjoying university life rather than someone in a long-term relationship working for the future?
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I had a feeling you were an okay guy and wouldn't do that to your girlfriend. No worries.
Maybe you could talk to her about your concerns? Maybe you'll find out that she wants to check out what's available on the market as well, and then you would have a mutual agreement =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, i just want to clear up that i dont want to go going anythin behind her back, its just that i dont want to find myself with regrets a few years down the line (about sleeping around or getting with the other girl). and the break up with her or cheat on her then.
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A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (11 February 2007):
You know probably already know this yourself, but I'm going to say it anyway: if you want to play the field, you need to break up with your current girlfriend and be aware that she might find someone else in the time that you're playing around.
If you would do something with the attractive 18-year old behind your girlfriend's back, it won't feel that good to you because you'll be plagued by guilt. And also it would ruin the pure love you and your girlfriend have, you will always wonder if she's going to find out.
I think that screwing around is a bit overrated, but that is just my point of view and you need to decide for yourself if it's worth it in your situation.
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