A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I tell my mother I plan on moving out without breaking her heart? It's inevitable, isn't it? I just cannot stand her. 80% of the time she irritates me and 10% she's insulting, the other 10% she's funny. She's practically the only friend I have but I really do not tell her everything. I used to when I was child. Then I got older and didn't want to talk about my feelings with her because she heard but didn't listen. She always says "okay Lisa, we'll talk about it later". My birthday was last Tuesday and we were at Sam's. I have been wanting to sign up for a job since I'm 16 but she told me to wait until I'm 18 so I waited. I wasn't aware I was supposed to fill in more than 74 questions. I asked for her help, she didn't give it and so I answered. Then she asked what I had put and called me a useless moron because it was apparently wrong. I have no experience with applying for a job and NEITHER does she. She was pissed at me because I was applying for jobs. Well, at least I am doing something for the family. Or course, I didn't tell her that. She was then super nice to me when she saw I was upset. Typical of her. I feel like I am never going to make her proud. I want to know if it's really that good of an idea because I may be irrational and not realize it. She's told me herself she can't stand me. Also, she says things that don't make sense. She was pissed today because I wanted to go to the hospital. Said that if I could drive she wouldn't be having to go to the emergency room with all her kids. I told her she can leave me there and she said, "no. I can't" and gave me a you-wouldn't-know-what-to-do-look. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Move, and soon. She's abusing you, and she's cruel. She treats you very badly, injures you and then plays nice? She's like a cat with a mouse... wound it, let it bleed and then just look at it and smile...
Mothers do considerable harm to their daughters when they do this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): You have to know you are ready before you actually move out. There is more involved than just paying rent. You have electric, water, phone bills, food bills the list is endless!
You mum will know that one day you are going to tell her you are leaving. But keep it on good terms, you don't need to tell her you are leavng because you can't stand her! Just tell her you're ready to start living independently and would appreciate her support.
You should concentrate on getting a job and keeping it before moving though, and you don't need to involve your mum with filling in the forms the employers want to see what you can do and even if you don't know all the answers-you're only young and they should understand.
Your mum will see you as an adult if you can face challenges like one. Apply for jobs wthout even telling her, that way when you do get one she will be surprised that you did it without her. You could then use your wages to learn to drive and show her you are capable of being independent, she may then start to see just what a confident, capable person you are.
She probably didn't mean she couldn't stand you, she might have stuff going on in her life that s stressful and may not have meant those words.
Good Luck, Hope I could be of some help x
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