A
male
age
30-35,
*bsessedbloke
writes:To the male readers here, has anyone successfully gotten himself out of the dreaded friend-zone? You know, when a girl you fancy treats you like her best friend and it is difficult to turn it into something romantic.If you have, could you please describe:1) What are the mistakes you made that got you into the friend zone?2) How did you manage to turn it into something romantic?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (16 June 2020):
 Honestly your chances of escaping the friend zone depends on the person that you're dealing with. Personally, the friendzone is a zone that I give out life time memberships to, needless to say, I don't date my friends. If you have not made your intentions clear in the very beginning then being my friend first in the hopes of becoming more than a friend later on does not work with me. However, I do know some women who do give their guy friends a chance should they express romantic feelings towards them. Granted it usually ends up being one big mess but it does happen. If you know your friend well enough, you would know what type of a person they are and whether or not it's wise to take that chance to find out if it's a phase or something real. Personally, I will never be willing to take that chance and date a friend. I don't think that it's a wise move to make but that's just my opinion.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2020): Other people are discouraging you, which I get, but I disagree. I’m a female and I had strong feelings for my best guy friend. I just couldn’t shake these feelings and we had a really strong friendship. I told him eventually, and he had the feelings too, but wasn’t ready for a relationship. I just gave up and accepted it wasn’t going to happen. I lived my life, was nice to him, but created some distance. The second I gave up control, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Timing is everything. Don’t wait around, don’t have false hope, don’t get obsessed. But trust that if something is meant to be, it will be! I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 June 2020):
 I think your BEST bet is to wish her well and move on. If she was on the fence about you, she might find you more appealing if you walk away. Yes, it's a girl thing. Especially, if she is young.
She has already turn you down. Why try and FORCE a square peg in a round hole? "You can't make Fetch happen, Gretchen."
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (15 June 2020):
 The saddest part of this story is that any other woman observing the situation will write you off as unavailable. You won't be able to be anyones romantic relationship as long as you are close friends with the woman who is using you.
Don't do favors,
Limit the amount of time you spend on her
From noon on Friday until noon on Monday is strictly off limits.
Don't loan money.
Never interrupt a conversation with another woman to answer her call or text.
Don't initiate conversation with her.
Be vague in your excuses.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2020): My friend, you can't force anyone's feelings to change to suit your wishes. If she is romantically-attracted to you, there is nothing necessary to do.
I'll speculate or assume that you've made your feelings for her known; but she isn't reciprocating. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. If you had, why would she want to be a friend? It would seem she'd want nothing more to do with you.
If you have declared your feelings openly; but she has told you that she doesn't feel romantic-feelings for you, accept that as her final-word.
Now speaking man to man. If you've repeatedly tried to change her mind, and she still keeps you in the friend-zone; that means she is not attracted to you in the same way. It means she is not physically-attracted; and her feelings are not moved to feel romantic-inclinations towards you. To continue to press her is delving in dangerous territory. You are pressuring a woman to accept you in a way she doesn't want to. A good-man, a confident-man, a strong-man would never force anything on a woman.
If she insists on making you a friend; either be a friend, or move on.
If you won't take "no" for an answer; then she is going to have to hurt your feelings, and withdraw any further connection with you whatsoever.
You can't force people to love you the way you want them to. How would you do if some female you don't feel physically or romantically-attracted to, just kept chasing after you relentlessly? She wouldn't give-up, and just kept begging and pressuring you! At some point, you would get angry and would probably hurt her feelings. You'd do whatever it takes to make her stop.
If you wouldn't want to lose this woman as a friend, back-off! If being a friend is all she will offer you, and that's not enough. Man-up and move on!
If she wanted you in a romantic-way, she would lovingly surrender to you of her own freewill. You wouldn't have to devise some kind of scheme or plan to change her mind.
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