A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I cant stand my ex girlfriend anymore. We were together 10 years and have two children together. I cheated on her whilst she was pregnant with our second child and I am not proud about that. I am still with the girl I had the affair on her with. We have only decided to make our relationship more serious as after 10 years I was very confused about who I wanted. I decided in march 08 that I wanted to be with my ex and we slept together. After two weeks of trying to make it work I found out that I had contracted a std from my ex and was furious with her that I went back to the girl I had the affair with (whom im still with now). I am angry with my ex for giving me this std and just cant bare to see her and only want to see my children. She swears that she used protection with her rebound fling and that she slept with him to get over me. We got together very young and havent had many sexual partners. Things are awful and she feel betrayed, bitter and hurt. She needs to move on. I cant stand the way things are and just want to move abroad with my new girlfriend and see the kids during school holidays. should I go?
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affair, ex girlfriend, move on, my ex, std Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Hello I am the one who wrote the post! I still do not know what to do. My ex doesnt feel like it would be good for me to have the kids abroad yet as she says that they are too young. One is nearly four and the other is 14 months. She says that I am selfish as my children, well my oldest will be going from seeing me every day to just 6 weeks in a year. I love my son with all my heart. I just dont want to be a part of my ex anymore just my children. I told her to stay away from my family and that she is no longer welcome at my families home or to any family events and I have stopped paying her maintenace as I feel that the children have everything they need when they stay with me and I dont know what she spends the money on. I am just fed up of arguing with her and wish she would just except things as they are.The girl I am with is very rich and can offer me so much more in the country abroad. I think I have made a mistake having children with my ex but can not turn back the clock. I want to be a good dad and wish I could just keep my children and get rid of the ex! feel so confused!
A
female
reader, Helpful Hillary +, writes (27 August 2008):
So you want to move abroad because of your ex? If that’s the only reason, don’t, it’s not right. It sounds that both of you were pretty terrible to each other and your right you shouldn’t be together no relationship can stand that amount of stress. You may have had a STD off your ex but you committed the biggest sin ever, cheating on the woman who was carrying your child at the time. I’m sorry for being straight but honestly is the best policy right? Seeing your children holidays is fine as they get to see the world as well as their Dad but if you just want to be away from your ex don’t make your children suffer. If you feel that this is the path you want to take do it, it’s a great opportunity but don’t do it because of the pain in the back side ex. If you want to stay here explain to your ex that you don’t want dealings with her but you just want to support your children. When you decided to have children with her you decided to put the children first so if they old enough to understand then you must discuss it with them. Just simply ask how they would feel about you living abroad. The children are the most important people in this problem. It’s not going to be easy for them when their parents aren’t able to be civil to each otherJust remember do what makes you happy but most of all the children must be okay with it otherwise you are going to look like the parent. If you do move away make sure your in regular contact with the children, send them pictures, presents it makes it more fun for them. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): i think you already know the answer my friend.look at it simply, "im not happy, i think this will make me happy, should i do it?"you may find that leaving doesnt make you any happier at all, or it will. how would you ever know unless you tried?And you know that as things are now you are not happy, i think you know everything you need to know!
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