| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm 18 and I have problems approaching women, especially when other guys are around. No one ever really intimidates me for any other reason (not to sound like a hard ass), but when it comes to women, other guys just make me feel like I have no chance. I need a way of either getting over this fear of other guys or a way to meet girls without other guys competing with me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (8 January 2007):
Lets separate the issues here, into approaching women, and feeling intimidated by other guys when approaching women, particularly if they are competative. The thing to keep in mind when you are meeting people, is that you are a unique individual. There is no one else on the planet like you. So when you meet someone, it is an opportunity to let them see who you are, and for you to get to see who they are. The thing that goes hand in hand with this is self confidence. All people are special by virtue of the fact that they are unique, so all people should be confident in themselsves, and be positive in showing other people what makes them unique. Of course most people have a hard time following that, but this idea is true and is the key to believing in who you are.
If you have this confidence and are happy with yourself, which is something you can develope if you put your mind to it, you will find it easier to present yourself to women because you will be less worried about rejection. This confidence also makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Which brings us to our next point.
Fortunately or unfortunately, finding a partner is naturally competative. It is in all animals, humans are no exception. The best you can do is present yourself as best you can, you can't do anything about other males muscling in on your territory, or asserting themselves favourably towards a woman you are trying to attract. The thing to remember is this: from time to time you will meet women who like you more than any other guy in the room, IF YOU LET THEM. In other words, if you stop worrying about if you are good enough or not, or if the other guy is better looking or better dressed or is funnier or smarter, or whatever, and just be yourself, put yourself forward, and feel confident and happy with who you are, believing in yourself, you will do great.
That does not mean you will always get the girl. It means that if you can develope your own confidence and believe in yourself, you stand the best chance of getting girls to like you, and you will develope the confidence to deal with rejection when other people don't believe in you like you do, and you get shot down. Both are important, and at the end of the day, score or not, remember that for you to value yourself is the most important thing.
Good luck!!
|
