A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Im not quite sure how to structure this but here goes. I have an attraction to older women sort of 27 to 35 kind of age. And i want to explore this but im not quite sure how or even if it is a good idea. Where can i go too meet older women? Am i wrong for wanting to do this? I just dont know how too feel about it. Should i embrace it or try to stop thinking about it?Thank you for your time. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): Can you discuss this with your Mum? How do you think she would react to a woman who is close to her own age? Most men would suggest that no more than five years older is better. Older woman are more assertive, pushy and sometimes bitchy the older they get. Some can be bossy and demanding. A man closer to the woman's age will call her to account if she gets too bossy or dictatorial. You could find yourself being treated like her walking handbag holder and her curiosity by her friends and never taken seriously and never listened to except with a sort of patronising distain or worse as the hired help by her at times when she starts to order you around if she is in a bad mood. If you are closer in age you will give it back to her if she gets like this but she might try to make you think you deserve this treatment when no one does if you are so much younger and she tries to rule you when that is demeaning and no man needs that. A woman going through menopause can be grumpy and mean. If you are around 18 now then in ten years time you will be close to 30 and in your prime but the 35 year old woman now will be 45 and starting to get the first signs of menopause. Look at Ashton Kutcher, he found it too much in the end. The more insecure the older woman the more she will try to keep you on a tight lease and that is demoralizing for a man. It does not mean you will cheat but constantly being accused of cheating or being questioned on where you went and who you saw will become very demoralising especially if you are not cheating but she thinks you are. If you have been burned by a few girls who are close to your age group dont write off allthe attractive girls in your own age group. Have you given younger girls a real chance. Real relationships are not all about sex. Any partner who thinks that has it all wrong. An older trying to prove to herself how attractive she is will want to get sex as proof. As much as woman think men only want sex all the time most mean like the talking, seeing friends together and doing things together and going places together and listening to each other. A good life is not all about sex. Older woman are likely to be watching all the time that you are not showing any interest in any of the super hot girls you will see day in day out. Is it that you lack some confidence in yourself and you want to be protected? And older woman will get sick of that role too. Why not enjoy some girls your own age now while you are young. At thirty you will know more about who you are and then a age difference will not be as defining.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi So very confused.
I would have a relationship with an older women but others say that wouldnt be possible. I just really want to be with an older women. Yes its about the sex but also just being with and dating an older women.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Personally, OP, I find that younger men who are looking for older women for just sex do NOT get a good reception by the population they are targeting.
I know that folks later on, find out what age range works for them but to actually TARGET an age range is in my opinion, not the way to go about it.
I never set out to have a younger partner, I do not like being called Cougar… I do not like the winks the nods and the chuckles and the “you go girl” statements… I did NOT want a younger partner… It JUST happened… and to be honest I think that that is how MOST age gap relationships that work end up… it’s NOT about the age… it’s about two people that happen to click…
IF all you are looking for is sex why the heck does the woman’s age matter?
by targeting an age range you are limiting yourself... you may find a very mature woman your age if you would be open to those experiences.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question celtic_tiger thank you but i still feel like that is too young. Not that you are old or anything but i dont understand why i want to do this. My ideal age would be like 30
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Early 20's is not 27-35! lol that is a completely different demographic!
If you only want sex, no strings attached with an older woman, then I would suggest a club. You are over 18, freely allowed to drink and enter clubs. I am sure you would find plenty of 18-24 year old women willing to sleep with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not thinking a long term relationship here, its partly sex and partly because i cant stand women my own age. Ive always hung out with older people and now there all at Uni and i wont be for another year. Girls my own age i just cant take too much drama. "why are you adding that girl on Facebook?" " Who is this girl who does she thing she is" I have several older friends all in there early twenties and all of my sexual experiences have been with them. I'm 18 btw.
The problem is I just don't know what kind of places to find women that kinda age. And the answers are a little confusing some of you say its ok others don't like it :s
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Age is not just a number. Age means more life experience:good and bad, and with that comes revaluation of many things, including relatiomships. You dont see the same quantity of older people doing the same wild things younger people do: smoking, drugs, alcogol, undiscriminitive sex and so on.
Of course some manage to stay teenagers their whole life, but im talking majority.
If you are talking about casual sex, sure you ll occasionaly will pick up a woman in a bar who will spend a night with you. Would she be seriousabout you? not likely.
You picked the age frame when almost all women either married or engaged or started thinking about marriage. Clock is ticking.
would they waiste time on a young fellow like yourself, Hardly.Again, im talking about majority. Good luck
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (22 April 2012):
I also want to add something else - a friend of mine, same age as me, is married to a woman in her late 30's. She has an 21 year old son from a previous relationship when she was a teenager.
This woman has now point blankly told my friend that she doesnt want any more children, something she failed to mention before they got married. So he is 28, and if he stays with her, he will never be a father. Yes, he has a step son, who is only 7 years younger than him - not really the same tho, is it?
So, two points:
1. Women in your older age range will have a past, which may include divorce, and children.
2. If you should fall in love and want to make a future with an older woman, are you willing to sacrifice certain things?
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (22 April 2012):
It is down to personal choice, and I am not going to say if you fancying 'older' women is either right or wrong - its what you like that is important. As long as it is all legal and correct, you can date who you want.
As a woman in your 'older' age category - I am 28, and I would object to being called old btw lol :D .....
You say you are 18-21 in your question, for me that is way too young. I work with many people your age and you are in a totally different world, in the way you think, the things you like, the things you want to do. Culturally and emotionally, there is a massive difference between an 18 year old and a 28 year old, let alone a woman over 30.
For me personally, I wouldn't ever date someone your age -why? Because you dont think like me. I want a partner, not someone I have to play mother to.
I am guessing this is mainly about the sex on your part? The fact you want to have sex with older more mature/experienced women?
The downside of this, is that a LOT of women 30+ are looking for long term, commitment, to settle down, get married, have babies etc. They do not want to date someone who is barely out of childhood themselves.
Women my age and older are looking for very different things in a man, thing which you are not yet mature enough to give (and shouldnt be yet).
Even if you are 21, you are still starting out in life - you do not really know who you are as a man yet. But you have a lot of growing and developing to do, something which you should be allowed to do without having to worry that your girlfriend wants to get married, have babies and get a mortgage.
There will always be women out there who would be happy to take advantage of a young man, but you have to accept and understand, that if you do chase after the 'older' woman, there is a whole load of other issues which you may have to address that you would not have to deal with if you dated someone your own age.
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A
female
reader, Young Old Lady +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Keep your eyes open,theyre everywhere. You just have to shoot your shot.
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A
female
reader, wingedlocket7 +, writes (22 April 2012):
Embrace it. its natural to be curious about those more experianced in life. but maybe you need the security of an older more stable person in your life. try going to local events to meet people but dont worry you have plenty of time to explore things and find whats right for you.
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