A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help with a fairly new relationship that I really want to work long term.We've been together only 4 months but have known each other for over 10 years. We don't live close enough to each other to see each other on anything other than the weekends since a one way trip can be 2 hours if there's any traffic.The only problem in our relationship is distance and time. It causes us to argue a lot, namely me accusing him of not being considerate enough of me when we could be together. There have been numerous occasions where he simply doesn't factor me into the decisions or plans at all. He openly admits this but says its unintentional.When we're together it's great. We get along wonderfully and it feels right. He's good to me in every other way but unfortunately the lack of consideration to see me is really apparent.I genuinely don't believe its intentional, I think he's more absentminded but that doesn't make it hurt any less. We agreed we're going down a bad path and want to work to resolve it now before it breaks us up. He's headed into a really busy season in his career where the next 3 months will make it near impossible to see each other more frequently than once every 2-3 weeks.I just don't know how we can stop arguing. Would like to point out I never bring up his lack of consideration in a demeaning or nasty way. The conversations are always pretty civil with me just expressing that I wish he would consider me more when making plans. To put things in perspective, I almost always am the one planning weekends and things for us to do. It was only in the beginning that he made an equal effort.Does it sound impossible to come back from all this bickering? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (26 July 2016):
 What is going to change in this relationship? Will you move nearer to him? It appears that he is too tied up in his career to move nearer to you. And if you did move to him would he have time for you during the week?
Weekends are full of fun. Living with someone is sharing. It is sharing the drudgery and the intimacy. Would he want you to live with him?
Sorry be negative. I hope it is realistic. Distance can be a killer for new relationships. I hope you can make it work.
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