A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There's a guy at my job that i'm about to quit and move away from that i kind of like, but i wouldn't allow anything to happen because i'm about to move in with my boyfriend. i WOULD like to pursue a friendship with him, just see him one day out of work before i leave, i kind of feel like i owe it to him cause i was sort of flirting with him, like i'll give you a cupcake if you give me some cheese (we work in a supermarket) and now i'm suddenly leaving, i kind of want to soften the blow of my leaving by trying to establish a friendship, beside the fact that i do want to be friends. is it screwed up to see the coworker outside of work (like, day time, not even at a bar or anything, just to hang out) even if i stipulate and maintain nothing but friendship out of it? or do you guys think because there's attraction there this is cheating regardless of any advances?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): pass the popcorn.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Q I've seen this movie already, she gets royally f'd just before she moves house, boyfriend finds out, then she starts a crying...
I'm going back to the cinema where they are showing the guy making him self look an idiot at the wedding....
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): youve only said a few things like, heres a cupcake...and you feel the need to soften the blow? There's something wrong with this picture. Hey dont you have on pants? What? What was that you said..could you say it again loudly......?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry for being aggressive; i think some of what people were saying were based on the moderator's title, i don't intend to keep in touch because i know that can get complicated, i just thought it was ok to see him after work like get something at mc donalds and then say bye
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand that you say it COULD lead to cheating, but I leave the state in less than a week, about 1000 miles away. i don't have his phone contact and am not electronically associated with him (like facebook or AIM etc) and don't plan to be, so again it has no power to lead anywhere.
I have been celibate for the last 7 months and the only way that would ever change is if i am raped in the next 5 days. I do think that he is able to respect boundaries. he did ask me out once like a month ago but when i said no he backed off A LOT, like literally kinda ran away before i could tell him I already had a guy. after that it didn't really come up (how do you insinuate that in conversation, oh could you hand me a sandwich roll for the deli? yea, my BOYFRIEND LIKES BREAD TOO-- we're always in a rush at work so we haven't even had conversations about ourselves before) but were we to hang out i would definitely tell him and i'm sure he'd be civil, regardless of what he was thinking or wanting to do i think he could restrain himself!
I did try to put myself in my boyfriends position and I understand if you think it could be emotional cheating, although i find it surprising none of you have friends you are attracted to while being involved with someone. i just thought it might be nice to say bye to him before i left, nevermind, I know this is coming off super-defensive so you all will just indict me further, but i do think you're blowing it out of proportion, sorry i won't heed the warnings.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Everything you are saying seems to indicate that this is a friendship that you really shouldn't have since you have a boyfriend. If you were to say this was just a guy friend who you've had no attraction to and just got to be really good friends, that would be different. But there is clearly an attraction there so I'd say leave it alone. If you try to pursue a friendly relationship with him it would lead him on into thinking there is the possibility to more. Even worse, it could eventually make you question your relationship with your boyfriend.
Don't pursue this. Just leave. He'll get over it.
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male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (7 April 2010):
The problem is, this will eventually lead to cheating.If you dont think it is cheating, ask your boyfriend these same questions you asking us.
Our hearts have a way of dissapointing us,Just one day together alone, you might be suprise what will happen.
You might live to regret this.
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