A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:im 15 and i know i recently asked this question but i had a nother follow up question for my situations. i had a boyfriend who was 19 and im 15. we are not having sex. we've been together for about 6 months. my parents didnt know about us until they caught us the second time at my house. he came over to see me when my parents went out. since im not allowed to leave the house. since it was the second time, my dad tied out heads together with a belt and threatened to throw us down our 1st floor balcony. my mom stopped him (but she was backing him up on everything). he hit my bf quite a few times. slapped me twice. called his mom threatened to put him in jail for molesting (when there was no molesting going on at all). threatened to kick me out of the house and im grounded for the next 2 years until i graduate from high school. i have no phone and no way of contacting my boyfriend....well ex boy friend now. he can't contact me, if he tries to, my dad will call the cops on him. and i recently thought about moving out of this house and that wasnt the first time my dad has abused me. its been about 2 days since the incident and they are still acting very mean towards me like grounding me wasnt enough. should i move out with friends at 15 and finish high school on my own while working a part time job? or should i bare with all this for 2 years until im out of high school
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): I know the situation really sucks. I'm not saying that what your dad was ok. Perhaps he was just so scared and worried about his daughter that his anger got the best of him. From my own experience I will tell you that although your parents are angry with you now, they will come around, just give them some time. As far as leaving and finishing school living elsewhere and getting a part-time job, DON'T DO IT. It is much harder than you think, believe me, I've been there done that and if I could go back in time I would have done things differently. If I could do things over again I would have finished high school and then gone to college. 2 years seems like a long time but it will go quickly, trust me, I have so many regrets and I want to help you from making the same mistakes. Like you I also had a 19 yrs old boyfriend when I was 15, I gave him my virginity after 6 months of dating and then we dated for 5 years. BUT I found out after 5 years that he was cheating on me the WHOLE time! It crushed me and took a long time to get over. Trust me you don't want to live through that too on top of leaving your house. I'm not saying that your boyfriend would cheat, but when I talked to all my guy friends about it now they said that when they were 19 they rarely took their relationships seriously which is really sad. I wish I could talk to you to tell you more, but please believe me that it would be a big mistake to leave. If your parents are abusive and hit you on a daily basis then go to a counsellor at school and get them to help you out. Also your dad loves you, even though he is pissed, picture what he saw.... can you imagine if it where your 15 year old daughter with a 19 year old guy in your home when you were out. Also, you have to remember that your dad WAS a guy and I'm sure is all too familiar with how men think which is why he hit him a couple of times because he doesn't want this guy to take advantage of his daughter.... you see how it can be looked at. I know that if I had a daughter and I caught a guy in the house when I was out I'd snap! I don't know that I'd hit anybody, but I would be livid..... Regardless, this is about you and your future. Make the right decisions now to set yourself up for a good life, not when you are 19 wishing you could do it all over again. I'm sure you are a very smart girl, I hope this helps, I wish I would be able to know if it did. Take Care, J
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 Hey this thread was posted a couple of days ago!
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A
female
reader, babygurll +, writes (21 August 2009):
 ok i dont know if this is the right answer but you should move out of there soon befor it gets worse and im not gonna say much more than that,.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Boy that is a tough one, I think your parents were terribly extreme with you, but there are two sides to this story I am sure of it...if you constantly disobey their rules then they are going to come down on you and even get desperate depending on how incorrigable you are.
I in no way am condoning the threats, but your parents sound very scared for you as well.
I can understand, a 19 year old should not be dating a 15 year old in my opinion.
Do you think you could tell your school counselor and ask that you and your parents be provided some counseling together? Or maybe speak to your mom about getting your family some help? That might be a first step to getting them to see they aren't helping you by being so harsh with you.
I don't think you should move out with friends. If you have an uncle or an aunt who is sympathetic to your situation, that would be better than being on your own with kids. And I have a feeling your parents will lift the two year probation if you start respecting that your boyfriend is off limits to you, at least for now.
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