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I want to leave him as he was staring at this girl for hours!

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2008)
A female Lebanon age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am a woman that as long as i rememebr had 2 divorced parents, which made me choose all the wrong guys in my life, which now am trying to correct.

The sad thing is, it has been more than a year and a half when i decided to break up with someone that i noticed after so many issues we had that we are not meant to be.

Where the story gets worse is the fact that i met this wonderful guy, that i thought was perfect, especailly that he came from a very loving home, had parents that until now have been married for 35 years. He was so great, so nice, everything that a woman wants in a guy and our relationship was going great for almost 11 months until that one day came and we had a huge house party, we were doing great but for the first time ever this girl with her boyfriend came, since she came in everyone thought she's the very blond wanna be type that unfortunately guys love but i never even bothered cause when it comes to me, i have so much self confidence in myself and that time in my boyfriend, cause he never ever showed signs of looking at other woman ever! but i always knew that he was never in a very serious relationship until i came, so i always felt that might get trouble.

Until that night i never thought he’d look at another woman but he did, he was drunk yes, but that's not excuse to starring at this woman for 2 hours straight,untill we were left 6 people downstairs, 2 other gay couple, us, and that girl with her boyfriend her boyfriend didnt even notice what was happening cause he was drunk busy laughing and talking… but me with my broken heart sat there not wanting to make a move cause i didnt want to look low to her cause i know exactly who iam. even when i tried to come sit next to him, he didnt even bother to put his hands around me cause he was too stupid and drunk and kept staring. I know that many consider they have much worse stories, but there is much more to this story, i know they never touched but staring at a girl for 2 hours not giving a fuck what the other feels and we were supposed to get more serious in a few months!!!!

things have been going downhill since then, and hes been crying non stop like a baby everytime i say i want to leave him, and hes not letting me, but i cant stay with him anymore, after those looks no tears in the world will make me feel the same way about him, and hes not letting me go, crying for hours saying he wasnt aware of his action, but i know he was!!!everything happens for a reason isnt that right…. pleaseeeeeeeeeee help me

View related questions: confidence, divorce, drunk

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A female reader, Star_07 United States +, writes (22 April 2008):

Star_07 agony auntI dont think this has anything to do with this other woman. It might sound crazy, but it has more do to with respect. Now this might not be a reason to break up, especially if it could be worked out.

But I think there is a reason why this bothered you. You are right! You dont stare at a woman for 2 hours. Glancing, fantasizing is one thing but if he was completely ignoring you for 2 hours, thats just down right distasteful. I think you need to talk to him about why this made you so upset. It was two things: ignoring you and disrespecting you. Also, give him the benefit of the doubt, he was drunk and probably wouldnt EVER do this normally. But he should understand that what he did wasnt okay with you and tell why.

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A female reader, Susan Strict United Kingdom +, writes (21 April 2008):

Susan Strict agony auntYou may be over-reacting. Just because men have wandering eyes doesn't mean they are going to stray - and you said he was drunk, so not necessarily acting sensibly.

Men look at lots of nice things, even when they have nice things of their own: cars, bikes... and women. It doesn't necessarily mean ANYTHING. It's a well known fact (so the scientists tell us) that men think about sex on average once every six minutes. You don't think he's thinking about it only with you EVERY time??? It doesn't mean anything, and looking at one woman for two hours in those particular circumstances may not mean anything either.

Try to work through it with him. You thought he was worth the effort once. See if the effort will be worth it now.

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