A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this boy nearly two years ago at a political meeting, and as soon as he walked into the room I knew that I liked him. It was instantaneous. Since then, my feels have increased ten fold. We've become pretty good friends, and I really don't want to risk our friendship by admitting my feelings to him in case he doesn't feel the same way! Yet I am desperate to know how he feels, because the intensity of my feelings are weighing me down. He is just so perfect. Our friendship is based a lot on banter and making each other laugh, and our eye contact is always incredibly intense. I've caught him staring at me many times, when he'll just smile and look away. He's incredibly affectionate and tactile with me, he shows all of the common signs of liking me; but then, sometimes, he'll mostly ignore me which convinces me that he doesn't actually have any feelings for me. All of our friends keep asking when it is we'll get together, but I refuse to admit I like him and I don't even think he knows that they've been talking of us having a relationship. I'm just so very confused... I want to know, one way or another, without having to verbally spell it out to him.Any advice? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (10 May 2013):
 Well everything you say here suggests he does feel the same way but then again you want him too, so anything you say would leave that impression. Somebody has to take the plunge here and since you are the person we are talking too it might as well be you.
Your not wrong, your taking a risk, things could go wrong and you could end up losing a friendship that would have lasted longer than any relationship you try. However.....if you dont know, if you dont ask, then you will never know and presumably at some point you will have to endure the hellish experience of feeling this way and watching your friend be with somebody else in the way you want to be with him, so, dont be under the impression there are any easy choices here and the potential risks have to be weighed against the potential reward - the higher the stakes, the higher the payout on a win, any seasoned gambler knows that.
So, you pays your money and you takes your choice, personally id go all in and take the plunge. If you do and you do lose, you can still win, your friendship may well grow stronger, if he is a true friend it shouldnt do you any harm at all, and closer for not having the giant 'What If' hanging over it where as the other way you can only lose, imagine this guy being with someone else, while you still have all these unresolved feelings bottled up inside, tormenting yourself with the thought that this could have been you. Sure you will still have a friend but at that point, the friendship itself will suck and bite into you every day. Either choice is risky, both choices potentially hurt like hell, but in the long term, bigger picture, saying nothing will end up hurting alot more and for alot longer. Sometimes all the choices we have are potentially evil so you have to pick the lesser.
However, it is ultimately up to you....good luck whichever you choose x
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