A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i have a boyfriend... but i am in love with another guy who lives across the country from me who also has a girlfriend. Well i am heading to where he lives to see my family and him. He is one of my best friends in the whole world. And i was recently talking to him and he is always telling me i should dump my douche bag boyfriend who i have had some issues with because he is difficult a lot of the time. And i talk to my friend about it. He also told me a few months ago before he got his gf that i should come up there so that we can cuddle. and yesterday when i talked to him i was telling him that i had some naughty thoughts about him (i am well aware i am already emotionally cheating on my bf). Well he wanted to know what they were so i told him and i mentioned the cuddling thing and he was like well cuddling is no where near cheating.and that we could still do that... and so i told him that i was worried that it would turn in to something else. He said we would see how it went. He is planning on coming and staying the night at my brothers house but i obviously feel bad about planning to cheat on my boyfriend and he seems like he doesnt care about his gf since they just started dating 2 months ago...i have wanted to hook up with him forever but now it just is weird since we are both in a relationship. I am absolutely in love with him. 100% and he is in love with me but this distance is too hard for the both of us. what to do???
View related questions:
best friend, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I agree with Fiercebadrabbit and Timm D, you should analyse the situation logically. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, think logically. There are some things I need to point out to you about this guy;
1. He is a player/womanizer. The mere fact that he has a girlfriend and is willing to cuddle with you at your brother's house or anywhere and anytime proves this.
2. He is not the committed type of guy. If he is not able to commit himslelf soley to his girlfriend why do think he will do it you.
3. Yes, you have known him longer than his girlfriedn but that doesn't change the fact that he is in a relationship.
4.If you are uncomfortable being with in a relationship your boyfriend then get out of it,if you don't now you will later.
5. Stay away from this guy, he doesn't love you, he's just looking for someone to use, trust me i know what i am talking about.
Keep your head up girl
Sanita from Jamaica
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (28 April 2010):
 First, let me tell you how to make a long distance relationship work. There is only one solution, but it's guaranteed: One of you will have to move to the other. Long distance relationships can only work if they STOP being long distance. Now, obviously there are exceptions - troops at war, people off to college for a set amount of time - but they always return to the other eventually.
Forget your boyfriend for the moment. If you were both single, could you make a relationship work indefinitely? If you answer no, then DO NOT pursue a relationship with him. You'll only hurt your boyfriend, hurt his girlfriend, and not to mention putting emotional stress on yourselves. You would just be teasing yourselves and in the end you'd both be alone.
Now, if one of you were to be able to move closer to the other, and that is a BIG if from what you've said, then you can consider a relationship. The right thing to do would to just end it ahead of time with your boyfriend. It would suck for him, but it would be the respectful thing. But if you want to keep him on the hook "just incase" it doesn't work out between you and your friend.... well that's just plain wrong, and sleazy.
And whether you think so or not, "cuddling" and anything else you are considering IS cheating because you're doing so with your heart. You'd be giving your friend something more than you give your boyfriend, and THAT is cheating.
Think long and hard before you do this. And think with your brain, not your hormones.
...............................
|
