A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In June 2008 my friend accused his mum of having an affair with her best friend. This caused close family members to all fall out. At this time my friends mum said she wasn’t having an affair but then in may 2009 my friends mum admitted having an affair in February 2009. My friend went mad and was hurt that he had been lied to even though the affair happened a while after my friend accused. My friend lives with his girlfriend so he doesn’t see his mum too often, and the family are talking but are not as close as they used to be. And now his mum is going to leave his dad and wants to form a relationship with the friend she had an affair with. But my friend said if she does then he wants nothing more to do with her and this has caused so many arguments between them and they used to be so close. My friend also has a 8yr old brother, and you can tell by his behaviour that he is being affected by this. Do you think its right for his mum to go with this guy when her son is so against it as he doesn’t like the guy and he is just trying to look out for his mum, or do you think his mum should start a new relationship with this guy? I want to be a good friend but I don’t know who is in the right? Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): the sitution is complicated here the fist thing is his mom is in love with his best friend now if she wont go with tht guy but the relationship between his mom n the family members will definatly wont get settlle even after she wont go coz in there view she lost the position of thier mom wht she had before so i suggest she go with them
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
Sadly, it works like this. She has had an affair, which was her choice. She now wants to leave for this other guy. She has hurt and lied to her two sons. One no longer wants anything to do with them, the other will ensure his behaviour leaves his mother a wreck in the future. Ultimately, she has chosen this new man over her family. She will pay for it ultimately. All you need to do is be a good friend and listen. That's it. The reason I can't judge his mother for being the in the wrong is the state of her marriage cold have driven her to the affair.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply. My friend has said he is happy for his mum to get a devorce but wants her to go out and find a decent man rather than get with the one she had an affair with.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 January 2010):
Your friend will always want his mum and dad to be together as that is what all children want of their parents.
However, his mum has a right to be happy. And she can't stay in an unhappy marriage, just because her son, who doesn't live with her, and is currently very angry with her anyway, doesn't want her to.
Your place is to be there for your friend and make sure he knows you support him, but you might want to point out she has her own life to lead too.
Good Luck!! xx
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