A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was dating my boyfriend for a year before we broke up last week. We have broken up a few times. He has gone through a lot of tough stuff in his life, and he often gets depressed about it and pushes me away when I try to help. I don't know how to get through to him, I told him he should talk to someone about his problems, but he just thinks he is destined to be miserable his whole life. I don't know what to do, how can I help him when we aren't even together anymore?
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female
reader, itsJanine  +, writes (31 January 2009):
 It's really sweet of you that you want to help him, but all I can really say is this: it's hard to help someone that doesn't want it.
My advice to you is to simply let him know you're there for him if he needs you, but give him his space. Let him come to you if and when he feels he needs you.
I hope it all works out :)
A
female
reader, Emajayne +, writes (31 January 2009):
 I think its great that u want to help him with his problems but u dont know how deep they go. Maybe just let him handle things and keep an eye on him to make sure he isnt doing something strange such as acting really really depressed and all of a sudden being perky and saying thank u to everyone. That is never a good sign. Maybe get outside help such as his close friends in on it. Let it be known he's having problems so u arent the only one with the knowledge of his feelings. Just let him deal with his feelings on his own. Guys naturally arent all that big on sharing. Sorry to hear about the split btw. That doesn't mean u have to stop talking to him all together....
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