A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Since four years i am having a boyfriend. We have kissed and hugged each other many times, but no sex. For the last 4 years he is insisting me to have sex, but i never agreed. I have fear in my mind that he will use me and will leave me after that. When i ask him about his sexual history, he gets angry.I also have feeling to make love with him but i am scared. When i tell him all this , he says that you have phobias in your mind and you can never be a happy person.What should i do? How can one know that guy has feelings for her or it is just sexual lust.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): I think after four years you should give it already. He deserves props for staying in that asexual relatonship
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 4 years is a long time to stay with a girl just to get into her pants.
On the other hand, the "he says that you have phobias in your mind and you can never be a happy person" doesn't sound very nice.
You are going to have to make a judgement call. What kind of boyfriend has he been? Does he flirt around with other girls? What kind of person is he?
There must be a reason why after 4 years you still don't trust him. Either he can't be trusted or you got trust issues. Can't say which is the case.
Sometimes you just have to take a chance. Unless you can come with a reason why you don't trust him you might just have to make a leap of faith. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
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