A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am gay and am ready to receive anal sex with my friend but im to embarrassed to ask to go to the toilet when at his house,so we never end up having sex cus I dont want to. He never asks me if we will have sex, but i know he wants to. So I have to be the one to make it happen, but when we are kissing and performing foreplay, it would be a bit off a turn off if i go, "right im going to have a sh*t now". I know obviously i wouldn't say that, and I know everyone goes to the toilet, but does anyone see where i'm comming from?and it's this that is stopping me from havig sex and making me quite miserable. i cant go to the toilet before i go to his either, cus he lives miles away and takes me a fair few hours to even get there. i used to suffer from anorexia, which luckily (unlike the majority who suffer from it)i got over before it came too muchg of an issue, but it has left my tummy abit odd, and i freqently have to go to the toilet, especially if i eat a largeish meal.i know asking for help is silly, since noone can help me, but does anyone have any tips or anything that will make me feel more confident or stop this from bein a problem.thank you for your time and helpx
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Stop at a public toilet, fast food place, service station, etc when you get to his town and go to the loo there if it bothers you that much.
I would also suggest that if eating large meals make you want to go, that you only eat enough to satisfy your hunger and then pig out after sex.
Take note too of what foods pass through you fastest and avoid those on the day. I know it works with dogs so probably same for humans, but potato, pumpkin and cheese can bind things up a bit (not to constipation level) and slow the travel of food.
If you did not have to go so frequently a herbal laxative taken the night before could help you to clean out the system so to speak in the morning, which combined with limiting your food intake could help leave the piework clear so to speak.
Really tho, you are probably paranoid whilst your partner would not bat an eyelid if you excused yourself when you got there. People go to the loo, simple as that, so he is not likely to think anything of it.
A
male
reader, NJACKSN91  +, writes (16 March 2010):
Well you should be comfortable with each other enough to just tell the truth if your going to be having sex. So I would just be like "yo..i have to use the bathroom" if he asks why just tell him you have to shit. It shouldnt be that big of a deal.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (13 January 2010):
You don't have to tell him WHAT you're going to DO in the bathroom... just that you need to go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): It really shouldnt be that big of a turn off as long as you're discreet about it. Im straight and sometimes before i had sex with my girlfriend, one of us would need to use the restroom, and we would simply say either 'i need to use the restroom' or simply 'ill be back in a few minutes.' It doesnt really have to be awkward if you're both mature.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): Dont be embarrassed! We girl do this ALL the time, and I am sure plenty of men do it to. You simply say "excuse me, I will go prepare". The guy should understand it! Many girls go to the toilet before sex too, and often to clean up. Freshly cleaned private parts smell and taste just that much better, and I think its a sign of respect for your partner to clean up and be prepared before getting it on.
However, if you leave mid-ways in foreplay, leaving for too long will cause your partner to get bored and it'll be a turn off. But, as the previous poster said, what about going right as you get to his house? Just explain that it was a long trip and you'd like to borrow the bathroom for a little? While there, wash a little too! Like if you want foreplay with oral sex etc, wash your penis and balls so they wont smell. A long trip and sweat and tight pants wont leave you exactly refreshed!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 December 2009):
How about you just say you need to pop to the loo when you first arrive at his house?
If you've been travelling for a while then he's not going to think anything of it.
Also, if this is your first time doing things together then why not just try some foreplay and then stick with that.
If you go straight for sex the first time you do anything together then it's not going to be good for either of you. If you do some other things to each other for a few dates first and get used to eachother's bodies then it's going to get better and better.
Good Luck!! xx
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