A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im on my first twennies, basically my parents are pretty strict. I've always been the good girl that never hides anything from her parents. I've never lied to them about anyhting or done anything that they dont approve with. I moved from australia to the UK afew months ago, and i've found out i've been missing alot of things in my life! I've never smoked, went to clubs or even pubs or just dont somethings that are just out of the box. I have a strong personality and im mature. But recently, i met a couple of friends and they do things that i've missed out in my whole life. I've always been the very serious person, but when i met them i felt that my life is boring. My friends never pushed me to do such crazy things and they dont do anything illegal. They just have fun in a legal way. When i hang out with them, my curiosity just blows, i just want to try smoking, having late night outs, partying and experiencing something i've never had the courage to break. So afew days ago, i went with my friends to the nightclub and i did drink but i havent got drunk and just out of control (neither my friends do), i had pretty much fun at the club and i feel like doing it again. But when i went home, i felt guilty that my parents has no idea that i did it. I dont know what to do. I really want to have a bit of fun every now and then but it leaves me guilty and selfish. Yes i know i might have made a mistake but no one's perfect, but if my parents found out, they will seriously get mad in fact im in my twenties which means im responisble. Please tell me what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2017): What a bunch of fuddy duddies these aunts are! Go out and have fun. You're still young and haven't experienced all of your life. Like someone before said though, use moderation and good judgement. It's easy for someone who has experienced life to tell you not to do something, but this is the time where you learn from your own mistakes. It's much more rewarding and fulfilling to live your life that way. Of you haven't got experiences of your own, what will you have to talk about?
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (1 December 2017):
 You have to fill your life with experience, but you have to learn from that experience. Ninety nine per cent of the Aunts know, from experience, that getting drunk feels awful the next day; that you can't hold down a job if you are out every night; and that you don't need to be out of control to have fun. They know because they have tried it. You are a late starter but that's OK.
There is a second side to your post which needs addressing - your relationship with your parents. At your age you might start to think about untying yourself from their apron strings. You shouldn't keep pretending to be their little girl. Grow up. Take responsibility for yourself. That is what you are supposed to do. They might get mad but they shouldn't stop loving you. Get a job, get a flat and live your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2017): You get over the guilt by living the way you were RAISED. If it's not OK under your parents' roof, it's DEFINITELY not OK once you're supposed to be an adult. If you didn't like your parents controlling you, why would you let alcohol control you? A GLASS of wine while reading a novel or with dinner is OK as long as you're not getting drunk but no more! You're supposed to be more mature than that. Nix the clubs, women dress and behave provocatively and you don't want to be that woman. Men go there to prey, not to find a girlfriend. You can have plenty of freedom without the guilt
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (30 November 2017):
 Try not to get wasted and out of control because it isn´t a good look, trust me.
When I was younger, I told my mother about everything I did. I.e where I was going, if I was having a drink but just so that she knows that I´m being safe and responsible about it. I´ve never been into clubbing (I´ve been to a few clubs), I was always the house party kind of chick so I was always in environments that I trusted and that my mother knew I was in if anything happened.
Don´t make getting motherless drunk a habit because alcoholism is a real thing and it isn´t pretty. Needless to say, after quite a few house parties and such, I´m so over the loud party vibe. Now I´m more of the sit at home and have the occasional glass of wine type of girl. So I totally get that you need to get it out of your system. Just be responsible about it and don´t ever let yourself go in the club especially when drinks are being spiked and girls are being raped and trafficed off. In fact that´s why I was never the clubbing type. Yes it´s cool because the music is loud and everyone is in the party mood but honestly, you can BE the party wherever you go. I never really followed the crowd so I never took to smoking and I´ve never went awol so be careful when experiencing this part of life or you may end up a human ash tray or even worse, drugged in a club and taken advantage of. Look, it doesn´t happen all the time but it DOES still happen.
I would suggest that you always let someone know when you´re going out and with who and also that you set a limit for yourself when it comes to how much alcohol you will actually consume.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 November 2017):
 Everything in moderation?
While I get the whole "I want to try EVERYTHING" because you have lived a somewhat sheltered life, go slow. Smoking is NOT all that it's cracked up to be. I mean WHY chose to smoke toxic leaves? Your body won't thank you for smoking and honestly? It is WAY easier to NEVER smoke than to quit after you get used to it... THAT is how they are designed.
And yes, I was a smoker - and in the long run, it was a rather disgusting habit. GLAD I quit.
As for having a drink or two and going out dancing. Nothing wrong with that. People have been doing THAT for decades lol. Just be CAREFUL. Not every person out there in the World have YOUR best interest at heart.
USE common sense and don't be afraid, to BE honest with your parents. YOU moved to the UK not to a convent, right?
Life is for living. Just be SMART about it.
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