A
female
age
30-35,
*nna banana
writes:hey,need help..my name is anna,been going out with my boyfriend john 4 over 1 year now and i loved him 2 bits but he has changed so much since i started college and he hates d amount of guys hitting on me and hes so very insecure now but i do love him i think i still love him, anyway , our friend who i met through john , i;ve know for over the year and recently admitted 2 fancying me and i really fancy me and we go for walks and text alot and try to hide this but i cant stop thinkin about him and i hate this and i dont know what to do , i want him so badly and i said i was going crazy and he said he was too and he doesnt have a girlfriend and when i thought he was chatting up some girl last night i got so jealous but then he said to me last night that he was going crazy not having me ,,, i want him and john and i want to have an affair coz i can have both then .. dont know help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): 1.You need to quit with your current boyfriend right now!tehre is no attraction and that leeds only to further deviation. Experiences are crucial to build our persoanlity. Quit while it's not late.
2. New guy is sweet now when everything is easy. would you actually fancy him as a boyfriend or only as a lover it's for you to see in the next period. The more you get to know him, the more you'll see his insicurities.
3. It would be actually very good for your boyfreind to be dumped now. he will learn that way that his value is really not connected to you but his ability to enjoy life himself. just dump him and meet him in 2 years and you will see what I am talking about. He might be more attractive then ever.
good luck sis!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): I agree with J.
If you're having these strong feelings for another guy who's not your fella, then there is clearly something wrong in your relationship. I think your best bet is to cool it off with both of them for the time being until you can work out which one you want, then break it off with your boyfriend.
Having an affair is not the answer. Not only will you hurt your boyfriend, but you'll end up hurting yourself by feeling guilty. You may even lose a lot of friends over it, and that would suck.
If you do choose to have an affair, just be warned that it will eventually leak out ... And that will make everything worse.
Good luck with this!
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A
female
reader, jamiexox  +, writes (9 December 2007):
 you do realise someone will get hurt in this... and it could be urself if not you all... if you r having these strong feelings for another fella then maybe deep down you dont want to be with your bf.. its not fair on him.. nor on the other fella, if i where you i would stop being in contact with the fella you want to be with for a while until you decide what it is you acutally want!!!!!
you cant turn back time so if you do have an affair with this fella and your boyfriend finds out all hell could break loose, it could end up that you dont have either of them.. so make sure you know what you are doing!!!
good luck
J xxx
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