A
female
age
30-35,
*avannahlynn
writes:Alright well im lesbian and me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost a year. this is the most longest and serious relationship ive been in. im 17 and shes 20 (but doesnt act like it). And well when we first met we were oh so very madly in love and I still am but im not so sure about her. We've pretty much lived with eachother during our whole relationship because she got kicked out of her moms house and moved in with me and my family then after a while she moved back to her moms then I got kicked out of my parents house so I moved in with her parents. Well anyway Shes not the most honest person out there. and her ex girlfriend has been a big problem in our relationship they dated for three years but her ex cheated on her for 6 months oh and her ex is her bestfriend cause from what she says "they've been through alot together" and well I absolutely do not like the girl. the first time we went out things did not go well and we broke up and she went back to her. Then a month later we got back together because I really missed her and she said that she missed me and that every time she was with her she was thinking of me (not the most sweetest thing I wanted to hear) but we got back together. I told her she was not allowed to talk to her anymore and she promised me she wouldnt. But one day she was texting sombody on her phone that ive never seen her talk to before so I asked her who it was and she said some guy I know. But when I read the messages it didnt seem like a boy it seemed like her ex so when she wasnt with me I called the number and a girl answered and it was her ex and I was extremely hurt cause she lied. I didnt want to be anywhere near her at the moment so I walked down the street and sat on the curb to cool off and she went after me and I asked her why she was still talking to her and she said because shes her bestfriend and what not so I told her not to talk to her once more then we came up with a compromise and I told her she could talk to her but not all the time I thought it was fair. So everything was good and she asked me if me and her and her ex and her ex's current girlfriend could go see her friends baby and I thought it might be a good idea cause maybe we could all just get along and I wont be so worried about her ex. So we picked up her ex and her ex's girlfriend and went to go see the baby abd everything was fine till about a couple days later she was talking to her ex and her ex says "i dont think we should hang out anymore" and I saw the text and "i was like this is her girlfriend and whys that" and she says that "when we went to go see the baby your girlfriend wrote me and said she couldnt stop looking at me" which I had no idea because she deleted the text. So then I confronted my girlfriend and asked her what that was all about and she says I didnt mean it that way so I let it go. Then were at my friends graduation party we were both drinking and we were being so cute towards eachother then I go inside to get my sister cause were gonna leave and I come back out and her phone goes off so I pick it up and its her ex and the text says "dont talk to me anymore just leave me alone" so I text her ex back and ask her what my girlfriend said because my girlfriend deleted it and she says that my girlfriend said to her " I love you dont write back" and when she wrote that she was drunk and I asked her why she said that and she was like "what are you talking about I didnt say that" so I waited till she was sober to ask her again and she said "I dont know why I wrote that. I dont love her. I love you" so I tell her "okay well I dont want you to talk to her anymore" and she said she wont and this time she really means it. So then the other day I go out of town with my parents and of course I dont trust her with me not there and she texts me and asks me if she can go to this thing at the park we have every year for 4th of july with fireworks and stuff and I tell her that she can go but if het ex is there that she better tell me and she says "i will I promise" so im out of town having fun with my family and then were on our way home and shes not texting me back right away and thats not like her. So by then im kinda freaking out so then I get home (to her parents house) and I call her and she says that shes driving so she cant talk and I asked her whos with you and she says nobody so I was like then why cant you talk? And she hangs up on me. So then im really freaking out so i wait about half an hour and I call her back and call her and call her like seriously 50 times and she doesnt answer oh and shes drunk by the way so im sitting home freaking out feeling sick to my stomach wondering what she could be doing. So I call her friend she went with who knows her ex and I ask him if her ex was there and he said "she stopped by but then left" and right before I hang up I hear somebody in the backround scream the ex's name and the guy im on the phone with say shhhhhhh. So now im devastated and I call my girlfriend and she answers and I asked her if her ex was there and she says no your trippin but I know shes lying and then she hangs up on me so I call her and call her but still no answer so I leave her a voicemail and tell her that she better get her ass home or im leaving and she doesnt so I call my dad and he comes to get me and take me home and then the next day she says she wants to talk so she comes over and we talk and she tells me that she cheated on me with her ex and that she picked her up and took her ex to the park thing and that was before she was drunk so it was all one big lie from the beginning and when she cheated on me she was s*** faced and that shes really sorry and that if I come back home it will never happen again and that she will never talk to her and never drink again and that she promises she will change and things will be better and I wanna believe her cause I love her with all my heart and she means so much to me. But im scared cause im heart broken and I dont want it to happen again. And after all that is said I just wanna ask what do I do, do I give her another chance? Does she really love her ex? Does she even love me? Is she just with me beause I love her and her ex doesnt but she still wants someone around? Just give me advice on what to do? Cause I really want this to work she my frist true love and I want to grow old with her but not with all these lies.
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broke up, cheated on me, drunk, ex girlfriend, got back together, her ex, I love you, lesbian, moved in, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): This relationship seems very dysfunctional. First of all: there is no trust. Without trust a relationship simply cannot survive. Who replys to their gf's texts and answers her calls on her behalf? If my gf did that i'd flip! Your gf does not know what she wants with who she wants. Sometimes alcohol can show you what a person is really like, and this girl has definitely shown her true colours. Why would you even consider going back with her? I say dump her, she sounds as if she will cause you nothing bur heartache. You are both still young, I think that you need to really find yourself as you are a tad on the controlling side. I am gay, and a bit of a free spirit. I can't stand when people try to force themselves onto me; it makes me want to push them away. My gf and I live two hours away from each other and we have complete faith in one another. She even slept in the same bed with a girl she once had really strong chemistry with, the one she described as "the one who got away" but the difference is between me and you, if my gf so much as kissed the other girl I'd leave her ass high and try. I expect loyalty if I can give it. You have to find out if she is still in love with her ex; because atm her head is all over the place. Another thing that bugged me about your post; she has to ask your permission to go somewhere?! That's definitely a relationship killer. She is an adult, and older than you. You are still a teenager. Why is she asking for your permission. You both need to work on yourselves before either of you stand a chance. Best of luck!
A
female
reader, heytay +, writes (30 June 2011):
It seems like your relationship is based on lies. All she does is go back to her ex and the lies about it all the time. You love her...but her love for you isn't as there. To love someone that hurts you, and lies to you, is to basically inflict self-harm. You know she is doing you no good, so there is no reason to be with her. Love is what it is, and if you want to go to someone that does not care for you like she should, then that is up to you. But you know what will happen. You seem like a sweet girl, I am sure there is someone else that is better for you then this person. 3
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