| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello all,So I met this guy N around two years ago. I liked him instantly, I fell hard. Took about nine months to realize that though he seemed to like me, it wasn't as much as I liked him. Took about three months to get over him, with the help of his friend A who saw how badly this was going (no romantic interest in A).Another nine months pass and our relationship is back to normal/friendly. I've accepted that we won't be together because of practical reasons, like even if we end up together I might have to move to where he lives, and that would be hard. It's cool, we're friends now.But in the past couple of months I fell into a clear rebound pattern with N. We flirt, and this time interest is very clear from both parties. My female friends observse that the signs he's giving indicate romantic interest. He likes me. Whether or not he has any intention of acting on it is something else.This is killing me; I want to get over him. In a year or so he's going to move back to his hometown, and I just want to enjoy the time we have left together. I don't even care if the relationship never takes off, I just want this heartache to stop.Help me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Hey there, thanks for your response!
Ahaha, we're not even at the fwb stage. I think we both understand that if we get together it's dead-end, so he hasn't made a move beyond showing interest a little too obviously... which is what hurts.
I do want to keep him as a friend, which is why I'm also keeping from saying anything unless/until he does. It's very, very difficult though. We match, we click, people around us can see that; it would take a little work, but we could have a good relationship.
Too bad we're both being careful. Or just wussing out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): You can sense that you are risking falling for him again and getting hurt. Then having to rebuild all over again. It could be that he sees you have got on with your life and finds that attractive - therefore drawn to you. For your own good I would keep things friendly but at arms length. Do not get drawn into any closeness. Make it clear to him that you see each other as friends. So no flirting. You will be on a slippery slope unless you set yourself a few rules.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Keep your dealings with him at friendship only because if you get passionate with him for a year your life will turn upside down for the worse like severe depression, loss of hope, feelings of worthlessness, and the dreaded list of heart crush goes on. Cover your ass by saying no to fwb with a time restriction since you don't want to relocate to his hometown along with him. Keep him as a friend, nothing more.
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