A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in a very tumultuous relationship for 2 years. My ex and I really loved eachother but her behaviors because of her rough past caused many arguments. I, on the other hand escalated situations. We broke up in a major way 3 times but we would both get very depressed and end up getting back together. The final breakup was the longest (3 months) but again, we both couldn't deal with the separation and decided to fix things again. Only this time, she recognized her faults and vowed to change her devastating behaviors and promised to be a much better, trustworthy and supporting girlfriend. I, on the other hand, assured her that I would respond to our differences in a much calmer manner. She even said that if she comes close to behaving like in the past, that I would be free to leave her for good. We were both excited about what's to come but it took only 1 week where she resumed her poor behaviors (she got caught in a big lie). She tried to mask it (not knowing that I had fool proof that she was lying) and insisted that I was wrong (lying among other things were some of her biggest flaws). When I realized that she was going to keep her lies, I decided to show her the proof that I had. She was certainly shocked. I, again, decided to break things off only this time, it was for good. She pleaded with me to take her back, sent me countless messages but decided to ignore her so i wouldnt be sucked back in. I was very hurt but still found the strenghth to move on. A week later, I hooked up with another woman but while I was very attracted to her, it was obvious that it was a rebound relationship and it wasn't fair to her. While I was with the new girl, my ex messaged me 1 final time asking me if I was done for good. She said she missed me and was still willing to work on things. I declined and she immediately told me she found someone else anyways.A common friend told me that she already moved in with this new guy after only 1 month of dating and they are already planning to be engaged, which I found very strange.Me and the new girl ended up eventually breaking up because she moved to Florida because she couldn't stand living in Colorado (where I live). I was totally fine with the breakup but now I find myself consistently thinking about my 1st ex, question how come the new guy could handle her and I couldn't, am somewhat jealous that she found happiness so quickly, tend to put her in a very high pedestal. I constantly only think of her beautiful looks and ONLY the positive aspects of our relationship. I have lost interest in doing anything and am home by myself and day long.If she was to call and ask for me back, I would still decline but I just want to get her out of my head. It has been consumming me and it's not healthy at all.
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (29 April 2013):
I feel the difference between you and your girlfriend are to great and this has been proved not once but 3 times with your breakup.Sometimes it is not easy to let go but wise because if you both continued to keep breaking up you could feel bitter.As she has moved on try and focus on you.Would you consider meeting mixed company, joining a club, doing a course just to get you over this stage.Time will heal and hopefully you will meet a nice girl in the not to distance future ,Kind Wishes Nora B.
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