A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello readers i am asking you this question and i really hope i'm not being juged but it doesn't matter because i'm anonymous haha so here it goes.....ok so me and my boy friend have been going out for 2 months now and we'v been best friends for 2 years we know each other really well and i am very comfortable with him but i'm starting to get to the point where making out isn't enough anymore. and i want more stuff to happen. nothing like sex yet i want to wait for that but like you know "more stuff" anyway i know he wants it to he is just waiting for my aproval so why dont i give it to him right?which brings me to my other problem, i'm not experianced at all. i go as far as making out but i dont know how to go pasted that point. i dont know how i would bring it up or how NOT to make it awkward you know? so i dont really know waht i'm asking you really haha i guess just sencerily ME :/
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male
reader, nikandme +, writes (24 December 2007):
 well, im 14 i have the same problem with my girl friend. makeing out is as far as we have went. we have been dateing for 2 month's as well.she want's to go further. so do i but im haveing the same problem. take it slow and ask him about it.
A
female
reader, Ratha  +, writes (24 December 2007):
First off, it's *great* that you realize that sex is not all-or-nothing, but that there's all sorts of 'more stuff' to do that both of you will enjoy without straying into territory you don't feel ready for.
The million dollar question is, what is it YOU feel like doing? It sounds like you want to try more because of your own desire to do so, not just because you think you should or someone is pressuring you. That's a good, strong place to start from because it shows you're taking charge and in control of the situation, and *that* bodes well for your future pleasure.
So, at this point everyone and their roommate's dog's grandma's favourite magazine will be chock-full of advice on what you should be doing, and how you should be doing it, often with diagrams and outrageous claims of being THE big sex secret that EVERY man or woman should know and which will unfailingly result in more orgasms than there are countries in Europe.
When you're with your boyfriend, forget all of that.
This is *your* sexuality, and you're the only one who knows what you like (or might like). Do what you want to do! Follow your instincts. They may be a little drowned out by all the advice you've heard and read, so pay attention to any urges you have while making out - to touch his body, or kiss him somewhere different, or rub or lick or whatever - or to *be* touched, or licked, or rubbed, yadda yadda. These are your cues! These desires and curiosities will point you towards things to try. Sex is very much about the journey, not the destination.
Before you embark on any exploration, be sure you clearly remind your boyfriend where you draw the line. You might say something like "I want to experiment a bit more with you, but I'm still not ready for [sex/whatever you don't feel you can handle]. Do you think you'll be okay with that?" This ensures he won't think your new play is a green light to sprint for home base, and reduce the chances of that assumption causing friction between you later on.
Focus on exploration, not experience. Being 'experienced' can be a curse as much as a blessing; it locks people into assumptions about what 'works' and can keep them from really listening to their partner and their selves. Being inexperienced simply means you're starting with a clean slate - no past mistakes to repeat! Average lovers always know exactly what to do... but *great* lovers know that everyone is different, ask lots of questions, and make it up as they go along.
To learn more about what you might like and want to try, there is an outstanding book called 'The Guide to Getting It On' by Paul Joannides which covers everything you could want to know about sex, from how to talk to your partner about it, to the complexities of getting naked, to every facet of intercourse. The writing is straightforward, non-judgmental, and best of all, hilarious - you can actually read it for fun, not just education. You can find out more about the book and other sexuality topics at the website: http://www.goofyfootpress.com/menu.html
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii  +, writes (23 December 2007):
 okay in what sense do you want more...and im not gonna judge here. experience is not the issue uve made it clear you trust him just experiment see what you both like.. and take it from there. just be safe and careful
need any advice just email me
x
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