A
female
age
41-50,
*ellykaw
writes:Hi I've been single for over 4 years now had quite a few dates over that time but nothing came of them and then I stopped dating for over a year then I started talking to someone online and he asked me out, at first I said yes but because my insecurities got the better of me I said I'd prefer to stay as friends because I wasn't ready to date when the truth was I'm just insecure, which he was fine with but asked me if I wanted to go for a coffee which we did yesterday, I really liked him and we got on great, but now I'm kicking myself as we are 'friends' do I tell him I want to date him? Do I just see what happens? I'm not sure how to handle this now
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 March 2016):
 Don't look at it as a rejection, it will only make you feel miserable. You turned him down and then he done the same. Don't worry about it, at least you had the guts to ask him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 March 2016):
 Don't feel stupid.
You could have "faked" a friendship and ended up with a LOT more feelings for him with no where to go.
At least now you know. So it's up to you if you want to continue being friends with him or, if you want to look elsewhere for a partner.
And learn from this. NEXT time don't be so hasty in turning someone down. Give it a few dates and see FIRST.
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A
female
reader, kellykaw +, writes (25 March 2016):
kellykaw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies ladies. I asked him and he said no! Don't I feel stupid. Still rejection is one of my biggest fears and so this is gonna knock me for a while. Least I know I suppose x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 March 2016):
I agree with honeypie, you have nothing to lose, so just ask him would he like to go out for dinner, as a date? Tell him you have had time to think and that you jumped the gun to soon on not wanting to date. He still met you as a friend, which is a good sign, it means he still wanted to meet you and get to know you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2016):
Just tell him.
I think the fact that he didn't walk away when you suggested friendship show that he MIGHT have the patience to go at YOUR speed.
Tell him how nice the coffee date was and that you regret suggesting friendship over dating. But also tell him you need to go slow.
See what he says. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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