| A
female
,
*inslie
writes: Hi guys!I've got a problem, was wondering if you had any advice. (Which I guess is obvious, since I came to this site).Well, I am seventeen. For two years I've been great friends with a guy who is seven years older than I. Nothing has ever happened between us, though we've both flirted and hinted that we have feelings for one another. I definitely care about him a lot.Seventeen is the legal age of consent where I live, so technically I could have a relationship with him by now. But out of respect for my parents (since they're a bit uneasy) I've decided to wait until I am 18 and moved out of the house before pursuing anything with him. Which is only in a few more months anyway.So the real problem is my friends. They all seem to like him a lot, but they're constantly making jokes that he is a "cradle robber" and "child molestor".I am a lot younger than he is and I can appreciate that. I wouldn't go looking for a guy seven years older, but we have so many shared interests, love doing the same things, have a great time together and really connect. We've got small things in common like music and hobbies, and big things like our ideas and timetables for marriage and the future. Above all else, I care about him deeply and would love to have a relationship with him.I am young. But I am almost eighteen, and certainly not a child. Therefore, when my friends make remarks, even jokingly, that he is a pedophile, I get very upset.I guess my question is, once I turn 18, is there anything remotely gross or pedophilic about this? If not, is there anything I can do to keep my friends from saying such cruel things? He's really a terrific guy, and far from a child molestor, so their comments really hurt. I just wish they could see him the way I do.
View related questions:
flirt, moved out Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): I think stand up for the boy you like.If they tease the boy u like then their not the friends u thought they were.Try and talk to them by Saying something like "Guys i know you dont like the guy i like so what that doesn't matter but if ypur the friends i thought you were you'd just want me to be happy"
Good luck at i hope your problem will disolve
Love ?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): dont worry about it. i am dating a girl now that that is 6.5 years younger than me. me being 26 and she is 19 about to turn 20. if you look at it 5 years down the road, the age gap will begin to get closer so it wont matter. all that crap from your friends is because of jealousy probably. if you care about each other, nothing else should get in the way. best of luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2006): hello sweety,
what is 7 years old gap' its really nothing' i have also a female friend who have her husband more gap than you have. may friend is 26 her husband is 65' so what is 7 years? she also experience what you experience from your friends, but she just laugh about it. after being with her husband for 5 years now and have a little baby girl' friends around her realise that age is really doesnt matter at all. as long you both happy and content then everything will be ok. good luck XXXX gladyz....
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2006): In answer to the age difference NO there is nothing wrong with it in my opinion.You are virtually 18 years old an adult.And you seem a very respectable one at that by respecting your parents feelings by not doing anything until you are 18.what is 7 years in reality not much and why should it matter to anyone else aslong as you are happy.Other people including myself are in relationships with a bigger age gap and it dont seem to matter.Some of your friends sounds like they could have jealous issues so just put there pointless comments to one side and follow your heart.GOOD LUCK
...............................
A
male
reader, gat +, writes (12 September 2006):
 He's alot older than you are and besides having feelings or thing in common, Where are you both in life? If he's in college or already out and your just starting...the difference believe it or not is far greater than 7 years. If anything make sure you wait until your atleast 18 if not older to date or do anything with him. If things turn out ok, it will always be bad news for him--that hes dating an 18 year old..someone 7 years younger. Society would probably dissaprove, but they dont know the details and if he is indeed a gentlemen then by all means go for it. But make sure that you take into consideration all the possible bumps and bruise along the way....say your in college and he has a job already....you might move in with him....(whatever it may be) WILL you still be able to focus on School??? Your own future...besides in college, its far different from high school and +++ for meeting other guys//girls or people in general. Don't get to folded up in something without seeing the big picture..and most of all---make sure you dont get him in trouble. As for your friends...it doesnt matter...tell em....to shutup...^_^
...............................
A
female
reader, Twiggygal +, writes (12 September 2006):
 Personally for me, I've dated guys 10 years older than me, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with the age difference as long as he sincerely cares for you.
I'm assuming that once you are 18, he will be 25, but when I was 18, I dated a guy who was 10 years older and we had a great relationship, it did end, but we remained friends.
I would definately say go for it if you care about the guy.
And to your friends, I would simply tell them to buzz off. Obviously they aren't as mature as you, and you can't help how you feel, so don't put up with what they say to you about him.
If he likes you as well, well great, you've known each other for two years as friends.
Hopefully it turns out well for you, but don't do anything you don't want to do, just keep that in mind. Always go with your gut instinct.
Sincerely,
twiggygal
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2006): thers nothing gross about it because age is just a number...im 18 and like a guy that is 26 and if he feels the same way about me i will date him......if you like him go for it its not like ur friends are the ones going to be in the relationship
...............................
|
