A
female
age
30-35,
*guagirl
writes:My friend just got out of a three year relationship, she was the dumpee. They broke up because of distance/growing apart, etc. We're all in college and me and her girlfriend go to the same college.I just like her so much. I have for at least a year. She doesn't exactly know that I have feeling for her, but when we hang out she makes it feel like she's trying to figure out my sexual orientationn without directly asking. Honestly, I can't see myself dating most girls, really just her. So I guess I'm bi, but mostly straight. I'm really disapointed. I want her, but she just got out of this long relationship. she got out of it because the distance was hard and we'd be the same distance away! I couldn't stop looking at her lips. I just wanted to kiss her...badly.What would you all do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): Rebound relationships are very difficult. It's hard for the other person not to compare you with their last partner. Usually it's the third person (as yet unknown) in their future that they eventually settle down with.
As she may still have feelings for her last partner, and due to the difficulty involved with the distance, I would suggest that you leave her alone. You deserve to be in a relationship with somebody who loves you with all their heart, not somebody still hurting and sad for somebody else. I think the difficulties in this relationship are such that it's better if you leave it at friendship or cut contact completely.
I wish you well.
A
female
reader, aguagirl +, writes (5 June 2008):
aguagirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe's on the rebound, so how would you handle that one??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Ok, so there are no problems with sexual orientation and freindship is no longer an issue.
You've got a couple of months to get to know her, why not try it out. Maybe if you click together, then the distance might not be a problem. You know what they say "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
I think you should spend time getting to know her, why not, you only live once, and who knows what could happen later on. Live for today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, aguagirl +, writes (4 June 2008):
aguagirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wasn't actually friends with her ex. I met her ex through her. I'm going to be seeing her a lot for the next two months but once the fall comes probably not that much.
It's really true what people say. Relationships are all about timing and this is just off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Sorry, I made some stupid assumptions, and wasn't reading carefully. I now see your girlfriend partner was the same sex. Sexual orientation therefore is no problem.
Distance and friendship still remain a problem, so the advice remains the same.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Hi Aguagirl,
Sorry you had to wait so long for a response, but your post must have been missed. Your question is a difficult one to answer, mainly because of your sexual orientation, the distance between you and the friendship between you and her previous partner.
Personally I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole, the whole thing just seems to difficult and disaster awaits at every turn. But then again I'm not driven wild by her beautiful sweet lips....
Sorry I couldn't be more help, but I wish you luck.
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