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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and several months, and for all that time, he has been perfect and attentive. Six months into our relationship we left for seperate universities a three hour train journey apart. Although this was difficult, we have been able to make time to see each other and have never had problems of jealousy etc. But recently the pressure and the way I feel pulled in all direction is too much: he expects me to put him first always, but as I will spend only three years at uni, and want to spend my whole life with him, I want to make the most of my time here, and the wondeful friends I have made. I don't want us to split up, but increasingly, I find I am getting more and more upset: it seems that whenever we speak he is judging my every decision: the fact that I want to spend time at uni after my exams finish rather than catching the first train to see him. I love him, but does it really need to be this hard?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006): I have a problem similar to your. I however is the boy and my gf want me to be with her. We stay near one and other but we harderly meet. When I leave the house I see her and then after few minutes together we spilt up again. i maganced to solve this problem by just simply asking him the come the my uni and not me move and then he will have the same feelings as you, wanting to be with friends
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reader, Ray +, writes (5 June 2005):
I have been in at least 5 very long distance relationships and not sure if I am only speaking for myself but I see that the woman always seems to be able to cope better than I did. But I did cope. You have to think that maybe this is the same for you. If you want to keep him, you do have to make a little effort. You don't have to let him take over your life but pay attention to his needs. So many times I was comforted by just a short email saying she still loved and missed me. Still wanted me, etc. Maybe he is like me and more moody than you are. Try just taking a couple minutes from your day to send him a short reassuring message or make more short calls than prescheduled long ones. Time between reassurances makes an insecure mind go through a lot of ups and down. Give it a try and it may work.
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reader, nikki +, writes (2 June 2005):
I have the exact same problem. My boyfriend always moans that I always do whatever my mates say and never put him first. I say you should just tell him that he is not the only person in your life and just say that he is being a bit selfish because, you are letting him rule you!
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