A
female
age
26-29,
*carlett101
writes: Ok my ex cheated on me like 2 months ago and left prior to that I would always get on his fb no we are over and i am heartbroken and when I have nothing to do I get the urge to check his Facebook by hacking it because its so easy but I know its not right. What he did to me was not nice but it gives me no right, How do I stop the urges? I don't do it but I do have urges..I am a very curious person
View related questions:
cheated on me, facebook, heartbroken, my ex Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2015): It has only been two months and you are feeling grief for your loss. You know it is wrong, but sometimes when we're heartbroken our actions don't make any sense.
There is a serious drawback to this behavior. It's psychological torture. Every-time you successfully hack into his FB account, you feel worse after what you see. You're miserable from that moment on. How much of that can you take?
To get around the urges, you have to find something to distract your thoughts from concentrating on him. You also have to get over your anger; because anger will hold you in a bad place for a long-time. You aren't giving your mind any rest, you are keeping it active and in a constant state of irritation. Give yourself a break and contact someone you love when you feel urges to follow-up on him. Do something fun and get away from thinking about that guy.
You have to learn not to put so much of yourself into a boyfriend. Sometimes young women your age center your world around your boyfriend. You're so much into him it's unhealthy. Now is the time to find something else to focus your attention on. YOU!!! You have to learn enjoy your solitude and independence. Get out of the house, don't close yourself away. That gives you nothing to do but think about him.
You should have school studies, a job, and chores to keep you busy and to occupy your idle time. Shutdown your smartphone or laptop and put them in another room. Deny yourself use of your devices for a minimum of an hour each day. Turn on some good music and sing and dance, to ease your mind and settle your thoughts. Reward yourself for being good. It's normal to be a little crazy at the beginning; but then you have to be an adult and realize life doesn't revolve around him, or any guy.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 March 2015):
If you are looking for an explanation or good reason why he cheated, there IS NONE. He CHOSE to cheat because he is a self-entitled twat. You didn't MAKE him cheat None of it is YOUR fault. KNOW that and WALK away.
There are PLENTY of things to do when you are bored. If you feel the urge, get on a pair of sneakers and go for a run/walk (unless it's the middle of the night) then you go to bed.
And now I'm going to wag my finger at you, so...
Being CURIOUS is not excuse to INVADE someones PRIVACY by HACKING their Facebook! Are you kidding? Don't you know that besides being morally wrong, it's also ILLEGAL?
He is a cheating son of a bugger, but even HE deserves his privacy.
Don't WASTE your time on this guy. He wasn't the guy you thought he was.
Learn to have some self-respect and self-control.
What exactly do you think you would achieve by having his Facebook? Other than STOOP to his level?
...............................
|