A
female
age
30-35,
*ilyflower.n
writes:Ok, so I met this girl, let say her name was kaithlin. She became my bff but I was the only one trying to keep our friendship going, I mean sometimes she will take charge but it lasts usually 5 seconds flat. Then one of our classmates came into the picture and she and kaithlin clicked. Meanwhile I was being left out of the picture. I always wondered why kaithlin ignored me and only sometimes attempted to noticed i was even there. I want to break up with her as friend. How do I do it when I might lose my other friends as well? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (6 August 2008):
Look, you're an adult. And as you grow, you come to find out who your true friends are. Just because you don't want to be friends with her doesn't mean that you can't be friends with anybody else. You can still be friendly with her and hang out in the same crowd, but you just won't be close friends, just aquaintances. Is your friend some leader of a gang and everyone is a bunch of followers or something? If you're not friends with her, you're just not part of the clique? Are they really people you want to even be friends with? You'll do just fine on your own--it may take some time, but you'll always make new friends at work or school.
A
female
reader, lilyflower.n +, writes (6 August 2008):
lilyflower.n is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know if I break the strings of our friendship, everyone is going to be questioning why I did. My other two friends will be like spokesmen for kaithlin. Just last year she lost her grandpa( kaithlin, now she is losing me, the first person she has ever known at school. Am I doing the right thing? I took the beating of being her friend because I felt sorry for her and I knew all along the way she was blocking me out of her life mentally and phiscally. Next year when I see her again I'm going to feel guilty and lie that I never sent that email. I do have friends outside her. they are connected to her as well because the classmate knows some of my friends and my friends have been her friend longer then they been mine. so if that classmate breaks off as my friend as well, I'm afraid that I'm going to lose one of my other bffs as well.
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A
female
reader, totallyjoey  +, writes (6 August 2008):
usually the best way to figure things out is IN PERSON. Why because I think the best way to get the direct answer is in person. SO call her and plan time and place to meet. Tell her you wanna talk.
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A
female
reader, lilyflower.n +, writes (6 August 2008):
lilyflower.n is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I did break up with her but not directly. I sort of drifted off, I stopped attempting to be her friend. I sent her a email.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (6 August 2008):
There really isn't a way to "break up" with your friend. I've chosen, in my past, to not hang out with a particular set of friends after I felt like I did not like what they were into (drugs and partying all the time). So I did have a couple friends outside that circle and just started hanging out with them. As you said, your friend never puts forth any effort in the first place, just ignore her. Don't talk to her anymore. You don't owe her an explanation, she knows she's not being a very good friend to you.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (6 August 2008):
 I agree. If your friend is treating you bad, then she was never a good friend in the first place and you need to weed them out of your life.
As for your classmate, she can still be your friend and not choose sides. If she does, then she too is not a good friend. You need people who are there for you and will support you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): You need to do what makes you happy....Not what makes Katlin happy. If you loose your other friends, then they were not truly your friends... You deserver much, much better my Dear. Keep up the faith, and keep your eyes forward... Let us know how it is going!! Love,
The GabberJackRanch!!
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A
female
reader, totallyjoey +, writes (6 August 2008):
The question really is...are your "other friends" really your friends? To be honest if they are true friends than they can really accept the fact that you don't want to be friends with her. Next thing is " break up with her as a friend?" Maybe the only way to find out why she is ignoring you and doing all that stuff to get your attention? The best thing to do is TALK TO HER. TEll how you feel and how you always have to take initiative..and how you really care about your friendshp. IF that doesn't work out for you I guess you might have really end your friendship. A lousy friend is not worth your time.
good luck,
totallyjoey
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