A
female
age
36-40,
*oiceofnight
writes:I Have been living with my fiance for a little over a year now. Over the past few months I have been considering moving back home and breaking it off with him (I moved to TX for him from VA.) He had become very possesive and demeaning of my hopes and dreams. I am only 21 and not yet ready to give up on them and settle for a life of mediocrity. I still love him but I am not in love with him. I need to be free for my own sake. My problem is this:I told him I wanted to leave a few weeks ago. Since then he has "tried" to fix things, but the magic is all gone. I am worried about him if I do leave though. When I told him I wanted to leave he seemed to break down. Before we started dating he was suicidal, so I don't know what to do. I care about him enough that I don't want that to happen, but I can't bring myself to stay with someone I don't feel I can be with my whole life.Any advice on how to break it off safely for him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): urgent!!!!!!!--read this..i have also faced the same satuation..plz,plz,,,i beg you for his life,,,,u sud help out her.plz,,do'nt behave with him rudely....al least call him dealy. and say that plz forgot all things..but say that u r his v.good frnd...for life...by this sayy dat ..u will nvr leave him as u r his soul frnd..but u can't marry him..
but don't give him a sudden sock ,other wise he will die or will go out of in daily life work..becoz he love u v.much....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): I know it is very critical situation to handle..But is you feel that you want to be free,then you have right to do so,but without hurting your loved one..as you said he has suicidal tendency...but think once before leaving..it can be handled,if he loves you truely then please need to think once..as true love is very difficult to find again....I know what is the pain of losing the love ...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): After 18 years being with my husband (and I am only 36) He is doing the same to me. I am over it and he just uses this stupid tactic my Gram calls sociological warfare. Get out now before you start a family like I did.....the emotion well being of my children is utmost importance. I just enrolled in college so I can get out.......far away if need be. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 There is no easy way. He will continue with the "I'll kill myself" routine. You know this is destructive for both of you yet you are still with him.
I would get a friend or family member( preferably a male ) to help you pack your stuff and stand by you as you tell your bf that you think its best that you split up and you are leaving now. He wont be able to hang the "I'll kill myself" trip on you with someone else there. This may sound a bit drastic but this guy is threatening to kill himself, there is no telling what he may threaten to do you to too if he doesnt get his way.
Personally If I was in your situation I wouldnt even give him this, he has mistreated you so you dont really owe him anyting, I would just pack my stuff and get in the car or on the first bus back home - right now - right this very minute.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Sounds way too familiar. Just last week I broke up with my fiance for good. (We had been together about a year and I moved to New York from Colorado for him). It was not a healthy relationship-he was emotionally abusive. I have been trying to break up with him since January, and finally I got the strength. One time in March I tried to break up over the phone but he acted like he was going to commit suicide by saying everything goes to me and how he made a will. I was scared, like you, so I stayed with him 8 more miserable months. This time, he kept calling but never talked about committing suicide, and eventually he stopped calling. I had to keep remembering that what he does with his life now is not my fault or responsibility. If you seriously want out and think he will hurt himself tell his close friends or parents, but LEAVE!!! Get out while you can! You don't want to look back 20 years from now and regret leaving if you are not happy and he is mean.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): There is no easy way to finish with someone. You will have to just let him know how you feel and end it there and then. You do not have to stay with someone. The fact that he is suicidal is all the more reason to get away. Do you really want to be dragged down into their abyss??? No way. You have to be cruel to be kind and i think you must let him know that it is over. Move on and stop worrying about what he may or may not do to himself. Those who shout the loudest never do anything and anyway that is not your responsibility if he does. Stop worrying and get away and start living your life, you are only young once, so dont turn it into one big misery.
take care
xx
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