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female
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anonymous
writes: there are two guys - one of whom (guy a) has been a kind of "friend with benefits" for a while, the other (guy b) i am totally in love with and we hook up occasionally but nothing ever comes of it.the thing is that everytime im with guy a i genuinly feel like i hav feelings 4 hm and want to perhaps try a proper relationship with him. wenever i start 2 think like this tho i see guy b and just get so down that i cant face a relationship with anyone else. lol it sounds so dumb - essentially i wanna go out with guy a, but as long as guy b is around i dunno if i can! guy a is the closest iv got 2 giving a damn about anyone but guy b for so long and i dont wanna just let that fade away without doing anything about it. on the other hand, ALL of my relationships in the last 2 years hav ended as a result of me cheating with guy b, and i dont rely wanna risk doing that 2 guy a! soz for all the a's and b's lol - its just a bit of a mess... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (12 May 2006):
 I think you have to be quite hard on yourself. Obviously there are some unresolved issues with guy b and resolving those is the first thing you need to do. I think you need to tell him how you feel. If nothing comes of it then you at least you have tried and you can start to get closure on that part of your life.
When you have done that you can start to move on to bigger and brighter things and maybe guy a too. If you dont then how you feel about guy b will always be at the back of your mind and it may well ruin anything you have with guy a.Hope that helps. Take care.
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