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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and i am begining to feel trapped in our relationship and can never do what i want to to. I feel as though he doesn't trust me. His sister is my best friend and ever since we have been together i haven't seen her as much so i try to go out with her as often as i can but then he gets angry because he doesn't know what i'm doing. He's becoming very over possesive and i can't handle it. I want to be with him but i want freedom.Please help! From H xx
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (21 April 2006):
 I think you need to be upfront and tell him how you feel, I can understand being insecure but the notion that you would do something while out with his sister is a little absurd to be honest.
Controlling behaviour does tend to be a symptom of deep-seated insecurities and when you are dealing with this it is something you might have to take into account but dont let that stop you from asserting your right to your own space.
Try and be gentle but firm, let him express any insecurities he may have and try and reassure him as much as you are able. I know what I said at top but try and avoid that line of reasoning, telling somebody you wont do anything because you would get caught is hardly the most reassuring of statements. Rather focus on the fact that you have chosen to be with him.
If despite this he still wont allow you space then I think you have to reasses the relationship. Hope that helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2006): trust is built b/c , over time, the things you say you are going to do become your physical actions..in other words..i'll be home at 9 and you come home at 9, i'm going to the store , and you are actually at the store...and vice versa with him..so as time goes on you realize the other person really is doing what they say they are, and it becomes trust..you just don't trust someone overnight..so look at what you are doing..are you telling him the truth about what you are doing? give him any reasons to not trust?? ect..look at yourself first and your actions..if you are doing the right thing then sit him down and tell him he is being the way he is for no reason at all and that he needs to tone it down
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