A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I lost our virginities to each other at 15. We dated for a few months and really liked each other but he was always completely distracted by wrestling. About a month after we had sex he told me he would be moving to a different town to get better at the sport. I was devastated and he left for 3 months to a wrestling camp out of state and said he would call me, which he never did. I made myself get over him and began seeing another guy to get over my boyfriend, who I had assumed left me. The day after I kissed the new boy my boyfriend called and I told him what had happened. He was really upset and broke up with me. For 5 years he has called me every August. It was obvious we both still loved each other and interesting that even though we were growing we had become more similar. He is the only guy I have ever felt passionately for and all my ex-boyfriends and I ultimately ended up breaking up because I couldn't get over my ex. My ex ended up going to the same college I had always wanted to go to with a wrestling scholarship. When I was getting ready to move up for school he showed me around and we even kissed again. For some reason when I got to school though, he avoided my phone calls and would only see me when he felt like it. Whenever he was drunk he would always call me and apologize for treating me so poorly and told me I deserved better. One night he called me and I came over and we had sex. He was really passionate and happy to be with me. He did not call me afterwards. I got upset and started dating someone else. He tried calling me numerous times afterwards but I told him to leave me alone and respect me. He apologized for treating me badly. I saw him with my new boyfriend and he tried to talk to me but I avoided him. I recently went to one of his wrestling matches. Before we had sex I admitted to him I still had feeling for him and he said he was definitely attracted to me but was not looking for a relationship although he said he was not ruling out the possibility in the future. I know he is attracted to me, but he said he doesn't know me anymore. I would love to get to know him again but his wrestling consumes his life and Im afraid if I wait to I will never have another chance. My relationship with my current boyfriend is failing because I can't stop thinking about my ex. I know he has feelings but is afraid I will distract him so he keeps avoiding me when he starts having feelings again. What should I do?
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