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male
,
anonymous
writes: i'm completely at a loss here about what to think and i need help. i've been best friends with this girl for nearly a year now. we spend a good deal of time together, and we have a great deal of fun in each others company. but since the day we met, we've had a VERY awkward relationship. there's a ton of sexual tension and attraction between us, and sometimes it's practically unbearable. it's nearly a battle for us not to hook up (she's in a relationship). but other times we're just friends and we don't see each other in that way at all. it's strange, i know. anyway, last night we talked about the 'what ifs' and how we wonder if we'll ever be together down the road. but then we began discussing how it might be uncomfortable since we've been 'just' friends for so long already, and that we might have missed our chance. as in it might be awkward to cross that friendship barrier at this point. we agreed that the thought of cuddling with each other would be rather funny or uncomfortable. and that if it were to happen, we'd probably both want to laugh or hit one another jokingly. and in actuality, we've cuddled before and it was rather awkward. but that was right after we had talked about doing it and planned it out. so maybe if we hadn't planned it out it would be different? i don't know. but either way, all of this sexual attraction is confusing me so much. how can it be that two people can be so attracted to each other sexually but just be friends? it's like, i can't keep my hands off of her, but if i put them on her, it might be awkward. haha. we seem to be stuck in this rut of having been so accustomed to the routine of having to be friends, but don't see each other as 'just friends.' and it's driving me crazy. what seems like the best solution to this problem? because it's completely lost on me and it's driving me crazy. one minute i feel like i want to be with her, the next i feel like it's too awkward.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): Not an easy situation. It sounds as if you both really fancy either other but are afraid to take the leap or want to avoid getting people hurt.
The fact that she is in a relationship complicates things a lot. Perhaps she is not happy with partner if she fancies you. Feelings will not go away unless you try to understand them one way or the other.
Assuming there are no kids and there is no passion left in her relationship, try to spend 24 hours with each other and find out!
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