A
female
age
30-35,
*aliMoore
writes:I've been feeling really down just lately, my boyfriend and I are both 19, we went to school together and started going out just before our second year of sixth form. Which he shortly left to go to college instead.I have now left school and work full time during unsociable hours, when I was at school I had loads of friends, I was out every weekend and my phone was always full of messages. Since leaving school I began to drift from my single friends all who were still at school and are now at uni. I dont see any of them, I have a few friends who also left sixth form when I did and are now at the local college. They've all got new groups of friends and about 3 months ago I went out with them, they all seemed so different and I felt like I didn't fit in at all, they all were talking about the new things that were going on in their lives and all these things that had happened that I wasn't there for. I tried to make conversation and join in with them as much as I could but it just didn't work, it felt like I was so different from them now. All they wanted to do was chase boys and Aim to have one night stands, so different to how they used to be, we just no longer have alot in common. I haven't been out with them since, I tried catching up with another friend of mine who doesn't get out much but she's always busy working, we've been out roughly 3 times this year. It's starting to feel one sided, I text her, she takes days to reply and if we finally make plans she ends of cancelling a lot and changing days because she's busy.I've now got to the point where I go to work, wait for my boyfriend to come home from work, spend time with him and go out with him at the weekend and that's it. He goes out with his friends whenever they come back from uni at weekends and they make the effort with him and I really envy it. I no longer have any female friends to talk to and feel like my life is getting worse. I'm struggling for a better job because of my lack of experience, I failed my recent driving test so I'm still trying to get my licence and I don't have much money and have to rely on my boyfriend a lot. I want to be more independent and sociable. It's getting me so down, my own sister doesn't even make the effort to hang out with me like she used to, now she's engaged and having a baby and moving further away from where we live. Any advice would be much appreciated I just feel so lonely once work is over,
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2012): This issue of yours is something that working professionals face at some point of time in their lives and has nothing to do with your personality...So chill :) :) ... Wavelengths with our school friends generally undergo a change after school life .. This happened with me too , when i joined a stream of education completely different from that of my friends..I found that they had a lot more to talk to when we met (about their master's degree, college to join next , boyz etc).. I had a hectic life .. Even at work ,me and some other people had to work for longer hours while others went home comfortably by 5'o clock. This took a toll on my social life to a great extent (i was 19 when i started working ) .. But trust me these experiences teach you how to strike a balance between your professional and personal life ...
Adressing your other issues ..This other friend of yours is probably undergoing the same problem as yours and maybe you guys are unable to meet up because of difference in work timings and also the demands of your respective jobs..
So why dont you try to hang out with people at work,(if they aren't really undesirable ) ?? Iam sure they'll be in the same boat as yours and would probably be glad of your company ..Also going by what you have stated your boyfriend seems to feature actively in your social life ..though he has his friends from univ coming over ,it looks like he's still taking you out whenever possible ..thus you have his attention and direct support .. i think you should feel happy about this ..
Coming to the question of your job ..you could probably continue in this until you gain adequate experience .. In my view job hopping sans experience can be risky .. if you feel that your present job is not professioanlly satisfying then why not try to join some educational course (may be via correspondence..you can study during free hours) that'll help you climb the professional ladder with more ease ??
Also once you have enough money ..you can join a hobby and make some friends there ..
Hope this asnwers your problem adequately ..Good luck and best wishes :) :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 I understand how you feel, once school finishes up people do go off on there separate ways and meet new friends from different walks from life. You say you have tried with your old friends but they are not making the effort, therefore don't run after them. Why not ask some people at work would they like to go on a night out. Or else join some social clubs and get to know new people. It is never good relying to much on your boyfriend. You need your own life as well. If your not in a good paying job then why did you leave school? Why not go back and finish it off and see if you can get in to uni and get better qualifications. Ask yourself what you want from life, write down goals on how to achieve them, think of a plan. It can be difficult to make new friends, but all you can do is try and be as sociable as you can be. Join swimming classes, art classes, dance classes in your area, anything that you have an interest in and make an effort to talk to people.
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