A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My name is John, i'm 19 and i'm pretty much lonely. I used to date a lot of girls back when i was i n high school but since then i stopped dating because of something that is hard to explain. Let's say that i first meet this girl and we talk for a couple of weeks, i find myself trying my best to be her boyfriend and i do everything i can just to be with her. Well after maybe 3 or 4 weeks of dating i start to feel as if the relationship is starting to get boring. i dont know if its because i am rushing the relationships too fast and not taking my time to get to know them first or what but i could really use your help by telling my what my problem is and what i can do to fix this because i really don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (31 March 2009):
 Ok, im not so sure you need a therapist or a doctor yet. I'm thinking you are alot like I was and still am. I'm thinking that you dont really date, you just meet a girl that you like and you try and be with her. Thats actually ok, but you probably do rush it a bit. And when it falls apart you are left feeling like it was your fault. Well it's nobodys fault. You are still plenty young so don't start thinking about being alone forever. It's probably not in your nature, but go to parties and clubs and have some fun. Work on being a more rounded you and you will get what you want. Be a little more patient with the women. Let things happen for THEM as well as yourself. The ones you are bored with are the ones you move on from. Eventually you will meet the one that stimulates your mind and body. thats the one you hold on to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Well John the reason we date is to find out if we like someone else and how compatible we are. If you found after a few weeks you lost interest well it is what it is.
That said, one way to ruin a new relationship is to spend all your free time together, so take it slow and date more than one girl at a time until you find that special girl you want to ask to be your girlfriend.
If you have lost interest in dating and feel sad, it could be that you have a low grade depression and this is making you feel blue and lack motivation to do things that you used to find enjoyable. It wouldn't hurt to make and appointment with your doctor and tell them specifically what your symptoms are and how you have been feeling. The doctor will know the right questions to ask, so you don't have to worry about all the answers....just go and get a check up....there is treatment for depression that your doctor will discuss with you.
You sound like a nice guy and you will have no problem finding a great girl, there is a shortage of nice guys like you in the world!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Well, I suggest the next time you get into a relationship and start feeling bored, find new things to do or places to go. Only see each other a few days a week and have other hobbies and friends outside of your relationship. If you try all of these and are still not interested, then maybe you should break up and move. Repeat as many times as you need. Eventually, you will find someone that may hold your attention.(Mod Note: Please use proper punctuation next time.)
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