A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I really am into this guy back home. We hooked up over winter break and continued to talk, etc. Im not the flirtiest person, but I tried to make it known. I have a fesr of rejection though, and knowing I wouldnt see him until spring break, I didnt get my hopes up too high.Well, I got to see him the night before I left. We're both insomniacs so we hang out in the middle of the night. He asked me to come over and watch a movie (and included the option of blankets) and you would think the implications of that were pretty obvious, right? Well, I must have send out a vibe that was really stand-offish and distant. I left and nothing happened, nothing. I realized how stupid I had been and was full of regret and texted him apologizing. I said I didnt mean to be distant, it was a weird day, and that I was sorry. He said not to worry, he thought it was him being weird/distant. It seemed like he was regretted it too, and joked that he hated himself? The problem is that I really do like him, and Im sure he is utterly confused at my mixed messages. I talked to him today, but just about music and movies, etc. I wont see him for another month and a half, and dont want to get into this discussion via text or online. I dont want to make this a bigger deal than it should be. I dont want to friend zone him, but I think I did just that. I suck at flirting. When I see him again, should I ask him if he is into me that way or..? I feel like that might be an awkward question to ask. Should I psychically flirt with him? I know being direct is the best option but I feel as though we're both pretty.. subtle people. He isnt shy at all, but I have a talent for making people uncomfortable. I dont know how to show him I dont want to be just friends.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 March 2011):
 nothing wrong with being shy nor with being subtle. Sometimes the world might be a better place if more people were subtle.
You do NOT need to ask him if he is into you, or not. Let's put it to rest that he does not know you like him.
Because he likes you and he knows you like him. His actions tell me he does like you already.
Just be natural and yourself. You don't need to do fancy contrived flirting. This guy is already very impressed with you.
And his actions towards you are very respectful. So you are very fortunate. You are on a roll with this guy. It's looking very good for you, so far.
When you both get an opportunity go have lunch together at say Subway. Go for a walk together and talk. Visit the library together.
A great way to show respect for each other is you read a book by his favorite author and he reads a book by your favorite author. Either you lend him one of your books and vice versa or you eaach borrow the said books from the library. Then after you have read each other's favorite you can discuss each book with each other.
Don't allow your first 'dates' to comprise sitting watching tv. It is not challenging enough.
Does he play sport? Go watch the sport he is playing.
Does he have a team he likes following? Do some research on the team so you can discuss it wth him.
Get to know other possible favorite things you each like. You make up your list. He makes up his. Then swap, and learn so much about each other.
The list would answer the following favorites,
your favorite color, flower, car, author, singer, band, subject at school, perfume/aftershave for him, season of the year, sport, team, hobby, (add as many things as you wish)
You have a very calm good relationship coming along nicely with this guy. It's great that you both are not pushy. And you both are being respectful. Read his actions, for that will tell you all you needto know about hu
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