A
male
age
30-35,
*jManny
writes:hey, ive recently become mates which my ex girlfriend, after a year and half relationship there were plenty of arguments after, but it is all good now. The problem i'm having is I feel like I'm having sexual attractions over her which in one half I want in the other I do not. I don't want to feel like I'm using her or anything all I want is a bit of fun. She says that I'll break her heart if I do so I'm bit stuck what to do...her mate says to me that she wants me back but I dont want to go down that path again.Any solutions on how to deal with sexual attractions...? Thanks
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male
reader, DjManny +, writes (1 September 2007):
DjManny is verified as being by the original poster of the question a lot of people say i'm nasty but she tells me she wants it so don't go saying that i'm using her because i'm not... what is the problem with women on here. All i wanted was a simple answer not a lecture
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): You are being a little selfish. I mean this girl loves you and you don't necessarily love her back but you wouldn't mind having sex with her.
When you do stuff like that, hurt others because you are selfish, especially being aware of it, it usually comes back around to you in the future.
I would take the route of being a good person and not hurt her any further. In fact if I were you I would just tell her that you will always be there for her, she can always contact you if she needs you, and with that said, just stop trying to be "friends" with her and leave her alone so that she can heal and move on.
She is not ready to be friends with you.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (30 August 2007):
 I feel compelled to answer this as a bloke due to the previous answers! Yeah it's tempting to have just the physical with an ex - problem is that one of you will probably want or need more. Best not go there dude- It'll probably end in tears - maybe not yours - but do ya wanna risk hurting her for the sake of a shag? only if it's gonna in further in my opinion- for her sake more than anything else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): If you do not want to resume the relationship with her, you should stay away from her - completely. No gettting together for lunch/coffee/clubbing, whatever, no phone calls, texts, visits or emails.She has made it very clear that she does not want to have sex with you, and feels that you would be "using" her.According to what you have told us, you want her only for sex, a "bit of fun", so yes, you would be using her.You really have no option BUT to accept that this is not what she wants, and as stated above, to stay away.Sheesh! How many times have I responded to posts saying that when a relationship ends, the thing to do is regard it as over; past history. "You" don't try to be "friends", nor friends with benefits or any other kind. No, you go your separate ways, so that you can both move on with your lives.Otherwise, why did "you" split up in the first place.Allow yourself the freedom to meet another girl you would be more compatible with - and let her do the same.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): seriously? you are using her if you do it. god have some compassion. are you really that selfish? if it would hurt her don't do it!! have some respect for the girl you spent a year and a half of your life with. she deserves so much better than you
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