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female
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anonymous
writes: I think I have fallen for my friend's husband which I know is really dodgy. I have been with my other half for 12 years now and it really hit home last night when we went to a party that they were holding. He is a generally friendly guy and likes the women but I suppose because he has been more friendly than most men towards me it has rubbed off on me if you get my drift. While I was watching him last night I realised that actually I quite fancy him (obviously probably more lust than love). I don't know how I have got myself into this situation. I feel awful because its my friend's hubby and somehow how I need to stop thinking about him and forget about him. Annoyingly for me, every time I think, 'Right! That's it. He's out of my mind', he either pops up out of the woodwork or his wife sees me.Can someone give me advice on how to walk away from this and forget him once and for all because each time I see him I just look at him and think wow! I suppose he's fresh excitement (if you get my drift) but I know it would be nothing more than that.I even woke up this morning thinking I just want to move away from where we are so I never have to see him around again. (I know this sounds drastic but it was thought with a hangover).So do I make my excuses not speak to this couple again or what do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): Look,I have this same exact problem . The friend's husband however just so happens to be someone who at one time was a close friend of mine(we were always very physically attracted to one another) before we settled down with our current partners(and moved to different towns). Recently, they moved near us and his wife and I became acquainted. Our families started to hang out and he made it obvious that he was still equally as attracted to me as I was to him,so I have been trying to avoid him completely but it's really not working.The thing is my long time boyfriend/fiance is absolutely awesome and other than this "friend" I have never found anyone that I am as attracted to as my man. I am very happy in my relationship ,so it is actually quite confusing as to why this other guy even produces these kinds of feelings in me.All I can say is stay away from them!!!!That's the only thing that really helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): I think that you should divorce your husband, seeing as you fancy your friend's husband, and sort out this with your friend and her husband. Does he ever flirt with you? Does he fancy you back? You desperately need to stop fancying as this is your friend's husband and this isn't worth losing a friend over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): Hi there, I was just searching the internet because I have a similar problem...
I have been married for 7 years and truly love my husband but don't fancy him physically very much. We are at the stage of talking about having children but I do not feel ready, I just want to go out and enjoy myself before committing to kids.
I know it might sound shallow but I am trying to be honest here!
I have a new male friend who is absolutely adorable and, just like you, fresh excitement. He's so cute and attentive that I am starting to think a lot about him in a lustful way as well. I am also starting to wish I was single so I could feel desirable with men again.
I don't want to do anything stupid that I will regret quickly so just like you, I am asking for solutiosn to overcome this attraction or maybe someone to slap me in the face...
please help!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): If you find yourself attracted to your friend's husband, don't put yourself in tricky situations, and definitely don't buy into the temptation, don't play around with him. In this game, there are no winners. Many people could get hurt and two families will get destroyed by such a selfish act.
So often we don't place a high enough value on the wonderful sisterhood of girlfriends-that's one of the big mistakes women make. Don't underestimate or undermine the value of having close girlfriends. They're your best allies against the harsh forces in the world. When you lose your close friends, you lose a major part of you.
So think before you act-sex with your friend's man is, of course, the ultimate betrayal, a sure way to destroy a great friendship forever and you may want to look at the underlying issues in your own marriage, that is going on.
Whatever they are..you are lonely and unhappy enough to consider possibly messing around with a good friend's man.
Look at improving your love and committment with the man you married and get this fantasy of your friend's man out of your head.
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