A
male
age
41-50,
*loan
writes:I met this girl in line at the grocery store and she literally just drew me in. We ended up talking and that was that. About a week later we ran into each at a local restraunt and for about a month everywhere I went I would see. Some how during one of our run ins we accidently got our cellphones mixed up and she called her phone trying to find it we spent 3 hours talking and I found out she was in the middle of a break up with her live in boyfriend and that they had 2 small kids. We met up to exchange phones and just kept talking. Fast forward 3 months and Im in love with this girl. We have been seeing each and she seems perfect. The thing is the house she was living in was her b/f's moms house and as soon as they found out she was seeing me they told her to get out that day. So I told her she coulds stay in my house until she found something else and because she had kids I would crash at my parents place so that they wouldnt get confused because I had only met them a few times. I have never fallen so hard and fast for a girl ever,and I want to ask her to move in with me is it to fast? will i scare her off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): Hell yes its too soon. If it don't work out between you and her, you will find yourself feeling obligated to let her stay because of the kids and mother not having place to stay. I wouldn't ask a girl with or without kids so early. Use your head, not... the big one!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): I would be a little cautious more so for you. She is really on the rebound and you need to take things slowly when that is the case....she is vulnerable and she is quickly attaching herself to you and could just as easily detach herself from you when she wakes up from the fog she is currently in. I am sure she is under a lot of stress with the kids and the living arrangements and it is very nice of you to offer your home until she finds her own place, but I would stick to that plan if you can, if you want this to last....suggest she just find a 6 month lease, because you hate for her to take up permanently somewhere, I think she'll get the idea.
Anyway, happy that you are in love and I hope everything works out for you, but you really are in the honeymoon stage and you are seeing everything as clearly as you need to make that kind of leap in this relationship. That is just my opinion. I don't think living together is ideal either, it is hard to live with someone no matter how in love you are without a commitment of marriage, because you know you can always leave and you take a temporary attitude from the start....not great for long term success.
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