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I want to ask her out but... is it the right thing to do?

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Question - (22 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 May 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I started a new job about 3 months ago, the first couple months she hated me, wouldn't make direct eye contact, would never talk to me, always give me a yes or no answer. About 3 weeks ago she started walking up and talking to me before I was about to go out to and to work while i was in the break room. then i asked her her name, because on her name tag it just said aj. she continued to ask me why i wanted to know her name and the first couple times all i said was just because and would walk away, so i finally told her aj isn't a feminine name i wanted to know your name so whats the big deal? she gave me a weird look. couple days later she starts asking me questions left and right. do i have a girlfriend, how old am i, where do i go to school, stuff like that.

Then out of no where, 3 days ago she comes and start yelling at me because she thought i did something that I didn't then i explained to her that i didn't and then she started saying i love you, i love you after like everything. kinda scared me there for a second, but then i remembered that she said i love you to everyone that she liked which was mostly just all the girls at customer service. But she's always smiling at me, always has a flirty attitude and always nice to me now. I find my self amazed that someone can go from complete jerk to so kind and nice.

So this is my question to you... After rereading everything i just put down here, in my eyes its obvious she likes me, but i have 1 issue. She is at least 21-22 and im 19, and she has a boyfriend that lives 8 hours away. I like her, even before she was a jerk to me i liked her. so what would be the next step... i want to ask her out, but i dont know if thats the right thing to do, because she has a boyfriend. i think i should just ask her to go put put or bowling or to a movie or something. correct me if im wrong.

View related questions: flirt, has a boyfriend, I love you, she has a boyfriend

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

Bla Bla Bla!

Seriously, we don't know anything else about your interaction with her that might prove your own strangeness...

Okay, so yes her behaviours seems strange but there's always something very logical behind it.

There are very many reasons but to get to it ask her! Speak to her! If she doenst cooperate then you've done your bit. There are plenty of fish in the sea and no i dont think u should waste your time - but if you like and you're sure that she likes you then take the bull by the horns.

The only thing i can say further, and this goes both ways, we cant read minds... no one can... and no amount of dropping hints or apparently trying to make the other person "see" is going to deliver the exact message you want them to receive. No matter what or how much logic there is to someone's behaviour fi they cannot communicate that truth then no one will understand and that leaves them alone with their situation and lonely with no one to share their feelings and time with.... Speaking to them might get them to open up and allow you the opportunity to express yourself more effectively.

Good Luck... :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

This woman's behaviour is very strange. Besides which she already has a boyfriend. She is acting erratic and you cannot tell what she will do next. She's already scaring you. I think you should stay away. She sounds unwell, and might be dangerous to your physical and mental health.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (23 May 2008):

Collaroy agony auntDude,

red flag here mate!.. Stop whatever you are thinking and don't even think about asking this girl out.

She is dangerous mate. I have met a few girls like this in my time and boy do they mess with your head. They never know what they want and each day is a different personality. It is quite exciting in some respects as when they show you affection it is so welcome - thats because they left you hanging last time by being an absolute bitch to you!

And this doesn't even bring in the complications of the long distance boyfriend.

Seriously mate, she is poison, let her own boyfriend put up with her shit, just do what the rest of us guys did when we were 19 and getting worked up by a hottie in the office - visit the mens room and use up some tissues!

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