A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there I have a problem which I really need help with. A week ago I was out with a group of friends from work and with them was one of their friends who I have met before. We spent the whole night talking and while my friends kept telling me that it looks like she liked me I couldnt believe it (when people tell me this they are usually wrong). Anyway she left suddenly that night which I found out a few days ago was due to something between her and her friend there. Now when she did leave her friend confirmed to me that she did like me and wanted me to ask her out. Since that night (apart from feeling like an absaloute idiot) I had a brief talk with her on facebook and 2 days ago she gave me her number. I tried texting her a little random text to try and start a conversation but I didnt get anything back and it's been a day since then. Now Im not sure what to do. I do like this girl but Im worried she's going to lose interest in me, I dont want to bother her too much with text messages because that will seem too eager and the other problem is I cant exactly ask her out at the current momment of time, I have been diagnosed with a certain condition and Im awaiting surgery to fix it however the surgery isnt for another 2 weeks and I cant be sure whether or not I'll be in a lot of pain in a day.So what do I do? Do I try to talk some more and if so how do I go about doing this? Should I risk it and ask her out?Please any help would be appreciated Ive been single for a long time now and I dont want to have screwed up my first chance in years.
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female
reader, Pretty3y3z  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Mmm...Okay... I think you should call her this...Ask how she's doing...and tell her you had fun hanging out the last time with her and your friends...and think it should be a me & you thing this time minus your friends...& see what she says..
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Well you can still call her and chat, can't you?
Texts seems so impersonal to me.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (28 July 2010):
 "Please any help would be appreciated Ive been single for a long time now and I dont want to have screwed up my first chance in years."
One of the best ways to screw up a relationship is to act as though screwing it up is the end of the world. You need to abandon this attitude of scarcity. Until you have developed a relationship, she is not special, she is replaceable.
With that out of the way, call her, leave a short (30 sec or less) message, and text her two days later if she ddoesn't respond. Then forget her. A lot of girls give out their number with no real intention of responding; they like the low-investment attention. It's manipulative and cruel, but completely normal. And it happens regardless of how good or bad a person you are.
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A
female
reader, *KC* +, writes (28 July 2010):
 did she tell you she has texting? if not that might be the reason why she didnt text back. Call her and ask her out or call her and ask her if she wants to hang out then ask her out in person. or if you are friends on facebook ask her out on there either private message, chat, or even write it on her wall(which might be a problem if she isnt single and has not changed her status; but it would say that your bold). and as far as the surgery but up front about it with her because if she does say yes to you you should not keep it secret especially if down the line you have to have another surgery or if something happens and it comes up again it wont be such a big shock.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Honeypie, I cant ask her out on a date because I can barely move as Im in a lot of physical pain. And calling would seem far too forward.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 July 2010):
CALL her - screw texting. You want to ASK her out, pick up the phone and call her.
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