A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone.I'm in need of some advice on how to handle or approach this situation that I found myself in.First off, I'm married to a very wonderful man. He's a true gentleman with a heart of gold. We have two beautiful amazing daughters together one is 8 the other is 2months. I'm a stay at home mother and he works during the week.All in all, we've got a pretty sweet set up. I just don't know if its baby blues that are kicking in or if I am in the right by my issue....So here it is,As a SAHM, I cook,clean(my 8yr old has mild chores) keep my family clothe,fed, and school council for my daughter. When it comes to a SAHM I do a full time job. That all includes having the baby, major lack of sleep and duties of a wife.Now, my husband. Bless his heart works all through the week. He pays the bills and now and then helps with dinner. His heart of gold gets in the way at times. He'll always volunteer to help friends family even people we don't like. He'll help in terms from money to helping move. It really is a wonderful trait but I REALLY want us to have...well "us time". When he works all the time. I'm alone, yes I have the baby and my oldest daughter when she comes home from school but... That's it. He'll come home and be tired from work and want to stay on his phone playing games. He'll of course tell me about his Day and ask of mine.I feel horrible when I speak to him of being tired or just wanting a break. Though he doesn't seem to get it... I don't have days off ever. I don't get paid in money like he with his job. My only contact with other adults is the very rarity of my good friend calling me or texting me.During the weekend we try to go out to town and do family stuff but it's not the same.. I miss us being just us from time to time. I practically have to beg for intercourse and cry afterwards. Any time the kids are asleep he either passes out or is on his phone.I've tried talking to him. I even told him I'm lonely, bored, want communication. He is always like, I'm here,what do you want to talk about, or what should we talk about. I even told him I get upset he is on the phone or that I don't know what to talk about. My days I spend with the kid cleaning the house etc...I feel horrible that I feel like this but don't know what to do... Please help.
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female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (9 November 2015):
 Sounds like you guys are in need of spending time together. There's different ways of doing this and doing it through surprises.
Maybe book a weekend away out of town filled with a spa weekend, ask grandparents or family members to take the kids for the weekend just so you can rekindle the relationship a little bit and add up the spark again. Unwind all tension and enjoy it.
If anything, if it goes well, make it a regular thing maybe once a month or every two weeks, book things by surprise and tell him were going away. That might help
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