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female
,
*og lover
writes: How can I get my boyfriend of more than two years to share his focused attention between me and his 6 yr. old son? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2006): show interest in his son and involve yourself with his son, make the boy love you and his dad will adore you, build up trust with the both of them because he comes as a two not on his own, soyou have to make both happy and if you do he will never want to let you go
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2005): You should be proud of your boyfreind for being a great dad.If your plannig to spend your life with this man you know he will be a good dad to your children.Dont push in on your partner and his sons time together give them space.Get to know his son suggest some time for the three of you to spend together, and in time the child will learn to trust you.You will never take his mothers place but you will have a place in this little boys heart and im sure you will find a place for him in yours. lyndsey
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): His child will always come first and thats the way it should be..if this was your child as well thats the way you would want it to be too..you have got to accept that his child is very important to him..try talking to him about some time together just you and him even if its just once a week..he had a child when you met him so you have got to realise that this child is and always will be part of his life..a big part.
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A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (31 October 2005):
 This is a tough one, because you give very few details, but I'll give it a shot.
First, what is it you feel you're not getting from your boyfriend? Attention? The feeling that you are his top priority? Or really just hours logged with you?
Second, has this need been historical? In other words, from the beginning of the relationship, have you felt like you have not received enough of his "focused attention", or have things changed?
Frankly, I think you're in a difficult spot if you literally want more time and energy to go to you. Your boyfriend has a prior obligation to this child he helped create, and it's a more important commitment than the one he has with you: he has a responsibility to make sure his son grows up feeling loved and cherished, to see that he builds self-esteem and a strong character, and to ensure that he knows right from wrong and how to make healthy decisions. You're already an adult; you have more strongly developed skill sets than this small child and his needs must take priority.
If it's a matter of just feeling taken for granted, then you need to figure out a non-threatening, feeling way to bring it up with him. It may not require additional time to give you the results you need, just some adjustments in the way he is when you two spend it together.
But you need to sort out what it is that you're missing and what it will take to satisfy you before you approach your boyfriend about anything.
Hope this helps.
xxx
c
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