A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20 and I had never been in love until I met my cousin.. I was free guy who always believed in SEX and FOOD. I have never been involved in much girls. But my cousin is sexy and smart and right now I am just feeling for her very much.She's 21 and exactly one year elder than me. She is not exactly my cousin, she is my uncle's son's daughter. We are best friends since we were 15 and 16. But at then we didn't feel attracted to each other that way like sexually or mentally. We just liked each other's company. We used to meet twice or thrice in a week. We talked about everything and we enjoyed it too much. Then I turned up to 19 and she to 20, then she found herself a boyfriend. He was married before and had two children. I really didn't like her decision. When she was leaving country, at that airport I just simply asked her that what was she feeling, was she alright or what but she told me who the fuck I was to ask her that and at that night I was thinking about her and that incident made me little cry. This was the first time I cried for somebuddy. When my granny died I didnt cry,When my uncle died I didnt cry, When my dad n mom scolded me sometimes hard I didnt cry. Oh I didnt cry for very long time. I amazed myself by doing that. She shouldnt have told me that. Then she married him and didnt like his company. so, she got divorced from him only after 6 months. I knew that it wont last long, I knew her. Then she was styaing at her uncle's home and I went there several times to see her. Noone was talking to her.The whole family was against of her decision. She was very depressed. I wanted to talk to her and wanted to make her calm. But I couldnt talk to her, because when I wanted to talk to her, that airport incident reminded me. I knew she was desperate to talk to me but FUCK ME, I didnt do it. I regret it very much that now. I could see her face she was always very calm and was simple at that time and also her simplicity made her look beautiful.Then at one family function we met and we all cousins went to hotel and took the dinner. We weren't talking for long time and I didnt talk with her at that time. But after returning home we sat opposite to each other and she deliberately touched her toe to my feet I liked it and I wanted to see that wheather she is taking her feet away or not but she didnt do it, she kept touching her toe to my feet and I knew instantly that she had still same feelings for me. Her toe of her leg touched me for almost like 5 mins, she knew it, I knew, but we never faced each other. Then after a month I went to her home and again we started talking and one thing led to another and we again started like dating. But after a month one day came up and I was at her home. We were ALONE. We were watching together hollywood's starts nude images and after 10 minutes we were seeing whole porn movie for the first time together. Then i started touching her at back and kindaa playing with her sexy bums. We hugged and I wanted to leave that situation and told her that I was going to my home for 5 to 10 times but when everytime I told her that she refused me and told me to stay there for a while and then she suddenly came up on me and told me to fuck her. I felt strange at that time. I didn't know girls can have so much of urge of sex. At that time she was up on me for five minutes. She was telling me that it was 21st century, everybuddy is doing everything then why can't we? For the first two minutes she surprised me by doing that and told me several times to fuck her but I refused her though I wanted to have sex with her. I was thinking we were cousins and I was afraid of doing it. When she was on me, she kissed at my ear and I could count her heartbits. But I refused to have sex with her and told her to stop it. And then she stood up and told me sorry. I told her dont mind it happens with everyone. Then we decided that incident to never mention it again and never to meet again alone.But it couldn't possible. then she was everywhere in my mind and I always dreamt of her. I did boy stuffs by imaging of her. I told her that i was dreaming of her. Then again we used to meet alone and sit together.But after 15 days she found again herself a BF. and she told me that she had found one. and then I was like crying and told her to never call me again and she didn't call me. I never felt what love was and she was everywhere in my mind and I couldn't study more couldn't think of anything else and I felt dissapointed. I didn't know at that time I loved her. I thought I was sexually attracted to her. So, I decided to go to psychatrist. I was just about to go to doc and she called me and told me that she dumped her BF and wanted to meet me. but i refused but she insisted and I said OK. Then we met again at some restaurant and she told me I was the best guy (actully she told me that stuff several times) and my wife would be very lucky and if we werent in blood relation she would propose me and marry me. At that time I felt for her. Some drop of tears came out from my eyes but I hid it because I didnt wanted her to know that I was feeling for her. She was very disturbed and I didnt wanted her to make more upset. I liked her so much at that time. I wanted to hug her hard. Then I told her that I was going to see a doc because of her and she understood me that I was in love with her. Then we shared some feeling like what about society doesnt't come in our way. But that wasnt possible.Then I returned my home and googled what happens in love and found myself that I was in love with her. But i didnt tell her that I loved her. I regret it that now. I should have told her that. Then we met almost everyday for anything. She would just called me and told me to meet her and I met her.But after that her family wanted her to get married and she again engaged with another BF. He lives in UK. She told me that when we both went to see a movie. She told me that she was doing compromise and she was going to UK after a month and i literraly cried for 3 days and my weight decreased 5Kgs. One day at early morning I woke up at 4 and I was thinking about her and was crying and my tears wet the entire pillow and then at 6 my mom woke up and sat next to me and asked me that why saliva was coming out from my mouth. I didn't have words to answer that. I told her that but she didn't believe me. She told me that I was saying this because I just wanted to have sex with her. Oh!!!After that I was at her home and I couldnt restrain my self from kissing her. I can tell it wasn't a sexual attraction and I kissed her for first time but she didn't refuse and gave me a cunning smile.I knew only after that I kissed her, I couldn't believe myself. But I knew she liked it. I always touch her cheeks and touch her but she has never refused me to do that. It is always easy to have sex with her but I wanted her to belive that I didn't like her for sex. Yea, I would love to fuck her but I dont wanna take advatage of her. I dont wanna use her. I know from what situation she is suffering from and I don't want to feel her more pain. If I were her, I would do the exactly same. But I dont know what I'll do when she will be gone. I dont know. What about me now?Then after that day I told her that I loved her so much and when I'll be having some good salary and then after 5 years I will make her come with me. she told me that she would love to do that. but she doesn't beleive me and told me that I would meet and connect with hundreds of girls and would forget her but I will go to UK and will stay with her forever. I know she will come with me. She is not made for any ordinary man or any simple man, these people can't have her long. Yesterday we met for some food and she got call from her home and it was like immergency so she left early. Then I knew she would text me and I was waiting for her text. then i just got her sms telling me that she was sorry for couldnt stay with me much longer. I knew that she was gonna text me when I told her that but she didnt belive me and made fun of me. I know her entirely. I always know whats inside her mind and her heart. She thinks I will be engaged to many girls and wont come to UK. But she is wrong. It doen't matter if she marries me or not but I want her to be with me forever and I want her to raise my children. This is not any fucking joke. I am feeling guilty if I see other girls or talk freely to other girls. I can't do that.Now sometimes I cry for what I will be doing if she will be gone. But this story doesn't end now. I'm sure. Story will be continued after 5 years.
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best friend, cousin, depressed, divorce, engaged, kissing, porn, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess she doesnt trust me!! I went to her home to give her book n wanted to see a movie with her.... I havent done anything like that then why I am suffering from situation like this?? I just dont know if we ever hangout with each other.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou dont know how i much i miss u..
someday i will make u read this page
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am really having dream of her every night,day, every single minute. Just dont fucking know what to do...It's just ego of both of us. Mine less and Hers more...
I guess I m afraid to see girls now because I always think like if I get more close with her, we would fall in love with eachother, and it happens with me every single time and then I wont be prepared to do that because I love her..and I would be sitting like all heartbroken. I dont want to do this.
Whenever compared to any girls with her, There's only her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know why but suddenly she told me not to call her....
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think I'll ever punish her, hate her or hurt her....I dont care about her behaviour or something..
I guess I will always want her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe hasn't called me for a week....
I think I am just getting all emotional but what can you do ??
if a person calls you everyday for no reason except to talk to you and suddenly stopped...
She has again made my life miserable..
I haven't did anything bad then why is she doing like punishing me??
I think I shudnt have talked to her, actually I promise me many time not to talk to her again but when she is in front of me I cant think of anything..
fuck this damn love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe had sex.... i kindaa enjoyed but she was feeling guilty....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): interesting romantic story...but in the end its too tragic.. i nearly cried..
i m having same problem.. i love my cousin and family is against us..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): first of all you are good story taler, and i feel the same way
its fiction story i cant believe it happened..
or
i hope it didnt happen or it happened then man you are the best..your love is great..but its a really tragedy happening with you. but she will come to you sooner or later... she loves you a lot and according to your last paragraph when u go to uk after some years to take her she will come to u,she'll anyway come to u....dont worry and dont cry..
i really hope u get her
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ RAINORFIRE
no no, no part of a story is fiction or any imagination.. i wasn't trying to tell a story... its my fucking miserable life....everything is true...believe it or not.
sometimes i just dont know what does she want
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (16 March 2010):
 Good story, your a talented writer. Fiction writer any way
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