A
female
age
41-50,
*arried and always lonely
writes:i am 35 and want sex everyday but my 33 year old husband wont. We went from everyday when we got married to twice a week to once a week to once a month and now only seven years into our marriage I'm lucky if i get it once every three months. What do I do? I only want him. When i ask him about us not having sex he says everything is fine but its not. I've told him i wanted to seperate we dont have any physical touching at all. So please help!! I am so lonely and need to be loved. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Helen Dove +, writes (21 March 2010):
May be he is just tire of sex or he is bored with you any more because you are interested in sex only.
Or may be you are bored with him too. Very often people get married and forget about their life goals. May be that's what bothers him. Talk to him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): Find a lover.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (19 March 2010):
 divorce him
physical touch is the one thing that separates any intimate couple from friends and the rest of the world.
It is the ultimate expression of love. Love trhough words is easy, love through action is harder.
If I am with a woman I always am touching her whether it is for extremely rough sex or for kissing someone to show a softer side of me or to just keep my arm around them. I am not married, I have never been in a serious relationship even. However, I will always express my feelings toward someone with action, because I feel they are worth it.
Barring some severe disorders or depression there is no explanation for this behavior that is excusable for either party.
People often marry prematurely and without thinking. People marry for the wrong reasons. People marry, and end up divorcing or living miserable lives.
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One reason why many people stop having sex after a few years in marriage is because of a loss of attraction.
I am not sure, but have you gained a massive amount of weight? Have you "let yourself go"?
This is another thing that is wrong for both parties.
A man has no excuse to just gain 100 pounds out of laziness, because they are now in a secure relationship, and neither do women.
My ultimate answer is, be honest with yourself.
Is everything the same. Are YOU the same? Did you let yourself go? Did you go from 130 to 250? If the answer is yes, then there is hope for the marriage. If yes, you should consider being healthy not for him only, but so you can live a healthy, high quality life.
If you have not gained weight or anything else. If you still look the same as you did before, then most definitely, he has issues.
You know your situation. So if it is not a loss of attraction, then I say leave him.
If it is a loss of attraction (because of massive weight gain/loss) I say bring honesty to your relationship and fix on being more healthy as a couple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): Some people just loose their sex drive over the years. Although, in his case he's still young so he should want sex more than every three months for sure. Maybe he isn't telling you something, he might be stressed, don't feel good in himself so he doesn't want it as often. Maybe everytime you have sex it's exactly the same so obviously it becomes boring.
This doesn't mean he doesn't love you mind. You should look nice for him, go out more, change things around, do things and have more fun.. keep the marrage going :)
I think you should talk to your husband about it. You're obviously not happy by the looks of things and you say you told him you wanted to seperate? What did he think about that? If he loves you and appreciates you then he'll respect how you feel about this.
Tell him exactly how you feel.
All the best.
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