A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do da girls always fall for those guys who are jerks, mean, have no sense of emotion, doesnt know how to care, doesnt respect gals,guys who are always flirting wid everyone, who only have outer looks but no feelings inside? Is there boy particular reasons for that? and they omit guys who are soft, cute, emotional, caring, and knows what LOVE is. Why? Pls , i want reasons.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): because we don't realize they are jerks until it's too late and we are hooked. We are weak to end it and hope they they will stop their bad behavior if we love them enough. Unfortunately, it never works. the only way is to walk away from these jerks. Which is so hard because they have such charisma and can be so charming and melt our hearts. Yes..we are dumb enough to fall for it.
Only when you've been hurt enough when you take a step back, see your pattern and realize, i never want to get hurt again by these aholes. So...it's a challenge in dating them. We secretely want to be that special girl that makes him see the light and change his way. this will never happen. he will only change on his own...and i don't think its until they reach maturity level at 40.
so yes... the qualities they have are intoxicating.
confidence, strength...we feel very protected around them.
Unfortunately they will be the ones that break our hearts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): maybe because the girl may feel 'special' if the guy who always flirts with everyone and gets all the attention choose them to go out with and not any of the other girls.
also some guys act really nice, like the perfect guy around first and only turns out to be a jerk later.
also some girls may have the impression they can change their guy to be a 'better person'
personally i prefer a cute, quite, emotional kind of guy because i know he'll always be there for me and treat me right...
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A
female
reader, Quizzle  +, writes (5 January 2009):
Hmm that whole "the nice guy finishes last thing" I don't believe that's entirely true.
I suppose some of the reasons a girl would go for the "mean" guy, is appearances, being seen with a good looking bloke, possibly someone lots of girls are after, to give an ego boost. She's possibly not in it for the long haul, who would be, with the type of bloke you've described!
There is the social aspect of it too of course, the "nice" guys more often than not are probably too quiet or shy to approach her.
I have often wondered why a girl stays with a bloke who treats her badly, and I've had the same thing happen to me, I can only put it down to thinking I couldn't do any better. Unfortunately some of those "jerks" are pretty good at pretending to be a nice guy to reel you in.
If you are one of the nice guys, believe me, there are so many girls out there looking for someone like you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): I'm a girl around your age. Here are my thoughts:
Girls don't particularly like jerks. What they like is guys with experience and initiative.
When I say "experience" I mean the guy is confident, teacher her new things, is fun to be with.
And initiative... is simply guys taking the lead. Taking her out on fun dates, being the first to call, being honest when he's happy or unhappy about something...
I think most girls feel this way. If a guy is NICE like you said and has the things I mentioned, then the girl would have to be an idiot to ignore him.
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A
female
reader, Quizzle +, writes (5 January 2009):
Hmm, that whole "nice guys finish last thing" I just wonder where these nice guys are hiding! Um, personally I can't abide by jerks, however I have stayed in relationships with them and the only reasoning I can find behind this is that I didn't think I could do any better.
I always thought girls were crazy for being with blokes that don't deserve to be spat on if they were on fire and then I turned into one of them! Mind you, I was duped into thinking these blokes were nice guys at first.
I suppose another reason could be they're just not in it for the long haul, or the guy looks pretty so they're happy just to be seen with him.
I'm not sure you'd ever really get a conclusive answer to your question.
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A
female
reader, vix08tyler  +, writes (5 January 2009):
because when they 1st meet a lad, the 1st that normally comes out if they make them laugh if there cute. but once in that relationship you dont see what is infront of you, you only see what you want to see. the person they 1st met that made them laugh.
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A
male
reader, MichaelS2  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Well you should specify the question because some girls might be offended!I am not a girl but I am just pointing out that not all girls fall for jerks.
I'm not entirely sure,but In High school I think girls seek acceptance as well as popularity.One way to gain popularity and acceptance is to date the popular guys who tend to be jerks as they boast about everything.
Another reason is that the soft cute guys aren't as outgoing.I don't mean they don't go out,but they tend to be shy and less social.
However in the end,Many females look for the nice guy and everything you described. I am not positive and I may even be wrong but I think it has to do with the maturity of the female in question...
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